I've been pondering how some people are able to get along with each other just so well that they hang along with almost that same bunch of friends with undying fervour and countless outings. I've also contemplated about why some of us do not really a wide circle of friends... is it merely attributed to the lack of social skills? poor PR? There are people who really get frustrated by being so "friendless".. while some dont bother cos they are living in a world of their own. There was once i received a chinese sms. It was as follow:
朋友的价值观不是每天都要见面，而是大家在忙碌的生活里彼此还记得，也会抽空关心慰问及传送信息
Does this encapsulates the meaning of friendship? I didnt find it enlightening to my doubts. But what i thought could hold more sense is that a relationship, be it friendship, BGR, or even btw family members, conforms to an "induced fit" hypothesis which isnt alien to a biology student learning how enzymes work.
Just as scientists postulated that specificity of enzymes are not restricted to a lock and key hypothesis, i believe not all friends, kins, or even spouses are made for each other. As much as perfection is an illusion, to attain so called "best friends" or "buddy" isnt so unless we define it to be. Is a relation only good if both parties are able to fully empathise and care for each other? Or to put it in an unpalatable way, are friendships mere facades for mutual exploitation? Actually i am inclined to believe the latter. But the fact that we always exploit each other doesnt really cause the other party to hate us.. in fact it strengthens the relationship. isn't that the irony of it all?
We ask for help, and our so called best friend acquiesce. This small act doesnt connote with it the notion of exploitation because both parties do not view it as such. What i am driving at is that friendship is all about mutual perception. "induced fit". If you try to accommodate something, you most likely look at its plus points. You would try to dissolve the drawbacks, minimise the negative thoughts, and learn to look optimistic about it. Maybe one day we could try fitting on a shirt in the dressing room and tell ourself like hey, i'm so gonna shine in this attire. But you know our mind is playing a hell load of tricks on us? We feel what we feel because we feel that this should be what we feel.
Applying it to friendship, maybe that guy who just ignored you aint a poor friend, while the guy who whom you just went out with might not be an excellent one either. Maybe that is why human relations are complex and multi-faceted. So sometimes its good to sit back and reconsider our perspectives about people, though ur friends might not do likewise to you. But let them be. When we do that, we are giving ourselves more opportunities to interact with them, befriend and influence them. When our perspective is correct, our world is correct.
一个人的思想如果是正确的，他的世界就是正确的
And maybe thats how relationships work.
March 03, 2007
February 25, 2007
Teaching - Playing A Brick Game
Teaching can be executed in various styles and methods. But what constitutes a good lesson? Is there a benchmark for it? I would think it is influenced greatly by the teacher's perception of the lesson outcome. Many tutors bear grudges even before starting the lesson, for example complaining about the students, the work load, and sometimes even the meagre pay, etc. These tutors are normally those that emerge unsuccessful in attaining a satisfactory outcome in teaching. Why? A misaligned mind leads to contorted thoughts and an under performing aptitude. So it boils down to having passion in teaching, or at the very least take it in your stride. But once again, many teachers still fail to deliver no matter how hard they try. In my honest opinion, i think the root of the problem lies in that we do not have an objective understanding of the reception of knowledge.
Learning, to me, is always a self discovery process. The feeding of information from others, ie teaching, has a limit onto how much the student would absorb. There is a learning curve as people always speak about. But the limiting factor to this curve is our mental processor. A processor that processes information in a way unique to oneself. A teacher would not be able to effectively pass on knowledge to a student if he or she does not have a rough idea how the information is assimilated by the student. On many occasions, teachers felt that they did all the could in presenting the concept and curriculum, but fail to grasp how meaningful these content meant to the students. I can give u an example:
A teacher administers his usual routine teaching to a class of students. At the end of the lesson, he proceeded somewhat comfortably to the question and answer session and began opening the floor to the usual quiet class. So any questions? He asked. Then from one corner, among the perplexed faces, a boy raised his hand and sounded off his qn. The teacher gave it a thought, and was then energised to provide an explanation. I want to direct my focus at this junction right now. Has the teacher really helped the student as much as he could by providing a solution? I would only dare to say partial.
What has gone wrong? The teacher didnt address the process which led to the question, but merely satisfying what the student queried about. Is teaching all about the superficialities? I'm afraid its not. If all lessons turn out to be in this manner, we would be breeding stagnancy in our education standards. The reason why some students turn out to be smarter than the rest is not always proportional to the effort they put in. Its like playing a brick game, u know those electronic ones with different shapes falling from the top. The student's understanding of the topic is the layout of the game at the bottom, while the teacher's solution is the falling brick at the top. If the teacher doesnt dwell into the intricacies of the students mind, he or she would not be able to orientate the piece of brick correctly into the entire layout. Be mindful that where the brick is laid, how it is laid, and sometimes how fast it is laid is of significant concern to the development of the individual, or in the case of the brick game, the sustainability of it.
Some students end the game quickly, in other words game over, because their bricks are tragically misplaced such that there is no continuability in the bottom layer of bricks in the game. In academic sense, they cant make sense of what they are learning though information has been fed. More accurately, the are not able to grasp the entire puzzle that has been fed to them bit by bit. In this case they give up. There is a limit. And test not the limits of an eager scholar, i beg of you. Learning is a life long process, please do not construct a dead end for them. Its a right to live.
That is precisely the reason teachers are valuable. Their jobs influence lives of students extensively and tremendously. It is incumbent on the beholder of wisdom to disseminate knowledge responsibly. And being a teacher isn't as easy as one think, if you are really passionate about the performance of students.
February 19, 2007
A Happy CNY 2007
A great CNY to everyone. Some look forward to it some dont really. They find the visiting a chore. But to be its like a welcome change in my life. Something like the 4 seasons. Its rather rejuvenating to know that for the next few days u no need to wake up and smell the NS stench.. haha. not that bad la, i exaggerated. By this time most visitings might have ended. I'd hoped u all have gotten all the ang paos u deserve. Or rather actually every year u would sorta expect a certain amount of money right? it cant possibly exceed the margin by loads. haha
Well can u all recognise a change in style of my writing? from those literary articles, its more of casual, more bloggish, more humane, more intelligible, and more relaxing entries. I am segregating the literary articles from the routine affairs, not because they dont form part of my life, but i want to compartmentalise it. So they are now not on this blog, but the link is on the right. So do visit them!
Well can u all recognise a change in style of my writing? from those literary articles, its more of casual, more bloggish, more humane, more intelligible, and more relaxing entries. I am segregating the literary articles from the routine affairs, not because they dont form part of my life, but i want to compartmentalise it. So they are now not on this blog, but the link is on the right. So do visit them!
February 09, 2007
Magical Life Insurance - Aspire, Inspire, Acquire (AIA)
Many people aspire for a better life, they hold brazen ambitions, they dream big. But few are sufficiently inspired to reach for these aspirations. You can really see "aspiration" as being intangible, while inspiration as the tangible driving force. Acquisition is ostensibly the fruit of your labour. Success, in its untainted definition, refers to the complete acquisition of what we have aspired, through relentless inspiration in our drive to attain it.
We need to be able to imagine our desired outcome. Such envisage is truly imperative as the constant source of motivation, a catalyst for accelerating through tumultous situations. In short, it is a mental image that offers a perk to our soul, propelling our inner desire to work towards something great, palatable and attractive. It is precisely through such vivid imagination of our future that belies inspiration, bequeathing us a great deal of passion and determination to work towards our dreams.
But of course, the extent to which we aspire curtails our achievements. As with the cliche "Dare to Dream", it is only if you hold greater expectations and dreams that you will possibly achieve it. So it adheres to a succession of logic that if one merely hopes to be mediocre, he or she will probably be lesser inspired than what he aspires to be, and the outcome? Probably below average. So aspire leads to inspire and then to acquire.
However if i were to just stop here, my argument would definitely be horribly flawed, as people following my explanation above would know little more than DAYDREAMING - aspiring the impossible. They are only taught that the greater u aspire, u the greater u are inspired, and therefore u acquire more. But for this law to work, i guess we probably wont exist in this planet. In everything we do there is loss and gain, even in science we deal with conservative laws. This theory here works pretty much the same. There is a check and balance. For every bold dream u aspire, you inherit a bold risk. It commensurates each other. So i have just made the equation a little complicated. Success isnt tantamount to boundless aspiration, infinite inspiration, and countless acquisition. It is more accurate to say that success entails a delicate concoction of all three. Bold aspirations, Maximum inspiration, Predicted Acquisition.
Why bold aspirations? Needless to say, we need to involve ourself in something stimulating and challenging. We have to forcefully mould ourselves into products which are necessary, yet not always palatable and easily achieved. And why not boundless? its because in the process of formulating such boundless aspirations, you have already injected absurdity and improbability in your dreams. So in the sense it has already transformed into something fictitious.
Now, why Maximum inspiration? How different is it from infinite inspiration? Maximum denotes peak. There is always a limit to our inspiration if u notice. An artist would not indefinitely possess inspirations for his drawings. A runner would not have unending stamina even if his mind is very strong. Emotions also have its ups and downs. We cant remain in a eternally unperturbed predisposition. Neither can we feel exhilarated all the time. What i am trying to boil down to is that we derive inspiration through events which have a lifespan. We need to constantly renew this pool of events which provide us with perks. So in order to enjoy maximum and not infinite inspiration, it has got to do with extracting the most out of each event that bypasses our life, obtaining valued inspiration and move on.
Lastly, why Predicted acquisition and not countless? As with right from the start, we only demand a rightful proportion of our share. We have prefixed an amount to take away. No bargaining about that. But the more significant aspect of the word "predicted" is the idea of confidence, conviction and faith. This is what we are going to get. We will eventually achieve what we want. We are merely reliving the process of toiling. That is what must be said to oneself. That the outcome is fully within control, nothing is unexpected, nothing will deviate from what we want. Certainty.
Oh and that pretty much concludes the secret of this magical life insurance. There is no rehearsal in life. Neither is there a shortcut for success. Taking the right path is in itself a shortcut.
It is up to us to get enlightened. And I am barely trying to.
We need to be able to imagine our desired outcome. Such envisage is truly imperative as the constant source of motivation, a catalyst for accelerating through tumultous situations. In short, it is a mental image that offers a perk to our soul, propelling our inner desire to work towards something great, palatable and attractive. It is precisely through such vivid imagination of our future that belies inspiration, bequeathing us a great deal of passion and determination to work towards our dreams.
But of course, the extent to which we aspire curtails our achievements. As with the cliche "Dare to Dream", it is only if you hold greater expectations and dreams that you will possibly achieve it. So it adheres to a succession of logic that if one merely hopes to be mediocre, he or she will probably be lesser inspired than what he aspires to be, and the outcome? Probably below average. So aspire leads to inspire and then to acquire.
However if i were to just stop here, my argument would definitely be horribly flawed, as people following my explanation above would know little more than DAYDREAMING - aspiring the impossible. They are only taught that the greater u aspire, u the greater u are inspired, and therefore u acquire more. But for this law to work, i guess we probably wont exist in this planet. In everything we do there is loss and gain, even in science we deal with conservative laws. This theory here works pretty much the same. There is a check and balance. For every bold dream u aspire, you inherit a bold risk. It commensurates each other. So i have just made the equation a little complicated. Success isnt tantamount to boundless aspiration, infinite inspiration, and countless acquisition. It is more accurate to say that success entails a delicate concoction of all three. Bold aspirations, Maximum inspiration, Predicted Acquisition.
Why bold aspirations? Needless to say, we need to involve ourself in something stimulating and challenging. We have to forcefully mould ourselves into products which are necessary, yet not always palatable and easily achieved. And why not boundless? its because in the process of formulating such boundless aspirations, you have already injected absurdity and improbability in your dreams. So in the sense it has already transformed into something fictitious.
Now, why Maximum inspiration? How different is it from infinite inspiration? Maximum denotes peak. There is always a limit to our inspiration if u notice. An artist would not indefinitely possess inspirations for his drawings. A runner would not have unending stamina even if his mind is very strong. Emotions also have its ups and downs. We cant remain in a eternally unperturbed predisposition. Neither can we feel exhilarated all the time. What i am trying to boil down to is that we derive inspiration through events which have a lifespan. We need to constantly renew this pool of events which provide us with perks. So in order to enjoy maximum and not infinite inspiration, it has got to do with extracting the most out of each event that bypasses our life, obtaining valued inspiration and move on.
Lastly, why Predicted acquisition and not countless? As with right from the start, we only demand a rightful proportion of our share. We have prefixed an amount to take away. No bargaining about that. But the more significant aspect of the word "predicted" is the idea of confidence, conviction and faith. This is what we are going to get. We will eventually achieve what we want. We are merely reliving the process of toiling. That is what must be said to oneself. That the outcome is fully within control, nothing is unexpected, nothing will deviate from what we want. Certainty.
Oh and that pretty much concludes the secret of this magical life insurance. There is no rehearsal in life. Neither is there a shortcut for success. Taking the right path is in itself a shortcut.
It is up to us to get enlightened. And I am barely trying to.
January 30, 2007
The Game Of Pressure And Stress
Pressure and Stress are two words which can really make or break your life. They are fundamentally different terms in my opinion. Pressure refers to a compulsive external influence, while stress refers to a bulging internal influence. From my definition, it is sure that pressure comes from the environment, while stress comes from our innerself. We cant control the environment we live in, but yet we can presumably control ourselves. But yet why do some people live in depression, over- anxiety and even go nuts when they get over stressed? The link should lie in between- we cant control how the environmental pressure affects our inner state. It has something to do with expectations and perception.
So pressure exerted by the environment induces a certain amount of self induced tension, which is called stress. And because we cant exactly rein in the mechanism of controlling the stress induced as a result of external pressure, destress seems to be the only recourse.
So there are two groups of people: One that mitigates the consequences of stress, the other group concentrating on gaining better control of the link btw pressure and stress. In my opinion, 80 percent engage in the former, with only 20 percent the latter. This is because the latter is tedious, arduous, and often unrewarding for the start. Its not even an uphill battle. Its like jumping from one cliff to another. Make or Break. So therefore we choose the former. Its easier to manage, and often goes with the flow of life.
But maybe its real time to shift our focus on getting our expections on track. Knowing the key to set rationale expectations will pay well for our future. We will better manage our perceptions, and fortify our inner state against pressures from the external environment. We place our selves right smack in the middle of pressure and stress, acting as filter. I would say that would be the idea state. And in such an effective isolation, it is then undisputable that we have really triumph in living a life for ourselves, pursuing whatever we like without the slightest mental barrier, overcoming adversities without feeling excessively drained.
But many people have already fell off the cliff. So are u willing to gamble?
So pressure exerted by the environment induces a certain amount of self induced tension, which is called stress. And because we cant exactly rein in the mechanism of controlling the stress induced as a result of external pressure, destress seems to be the only recourse.
So there are two groups of people: One that mitigates the consequences of stress, the other group concentrating on gaining better control of the link btw pressure and stress. In my opinion, 80 percent engage in the former, with only 20 percent the latter. This is because the latter is tedious, arduous, and often unrewarding for the start. Its not even an uphill battle. Its like jumping from one cliff to another. Make or Break. So therefore we choose the former. Its easier to manage, and often goes with the flow of life.
But maybe its real time to shift our focus on getting our expections on track. Knowing the key to set rationale expectations will pay well for our future. We will better manage our perceptions, and fortify our inner state against pressures from the external environment. We place our selves right smack in the middle of pressure and stress, acting as filter. I would say that would be the idea state. And in such an effective isolation, it is then undisputable that we have really triumph in living a life for ourselves, pursuing whatever we like without the slightest mental barrier, overcoming adversities without feeling excessively drained.
But many people have already fell off the cliff. So are u willing to gamble?
January 20, 2007
The Limit
Is Sky really the limit? Or are we the limit of our dreams? Much can be said about limits. I overpushed my limit in sispec, therefore i was injured. I didnt know my limit, thats why i wasn't sure of an impending injury.
At first i didnt want to dwell over the matter of my injury again, but i felt many things we do in life, even as in blogging, there is really a real limit and a perceived limit. Not trying to be mathematical, but as the perceived limit overshots the real limit, the balance would be overturned, unleashing a pandora box of unending worries.
I hate to say that in life, we always set limits, just as we might have set targets. The more ambitious we are, the greater tendency we have to stumble. And upon sensing that we might have reached our limit, we resort to initiate a complete change. Thats the normal path. But being in the shoes of this path would certainly allow u to recognise that one is like turning upon hitting a stone. i.e. we dont really have an accurate benchmark as to where we execute a retreat. And the baseline of all - thats only our perceived limit. In many circumstances, our perceived limits are unaligned with the real limits.
I was sick recently, yet again due to the miscalculation that i thought i wouldnt have fell ill. I was already feeling ill on my duty night, and to exacerbate the situation, it was an overnight duty. The next morning i went home i rested, but it was never enough. Plus a few days of insufficient sleep thereafter, it culminated in this terrible streak of illness.
So being able to grasp the limit, knowing when to steer out of dangerous traps is vital for survival. It is the accumulation of experience that grants us greater acumen in our judgement of the Limit.
At first i didnt want to dwell over the matter of my injury again, but i felt many things we do in life, even as in blogging, there is really a real limit and a perceived limit. Not trying to be mathematical, but as the perceived limit overshots the real limit, the balance would be overturned, unleashing a pandora box of unending worries.
I hate to say that in life, we always set limits, just as we might have set targets. The more ambitious we are, the greater tendency we have to stumble. And upon sensing that we might have reached our limit, we resort to initiate a complete change. Thats the normal path. But being in the shoes of this path would certainly allow u to recognise that one is like turning upon hitting a stone. i.e. we dont really have an accurate benchmark as to where we execute a retreat. And the baseline of all - thats only our perceived limit. In many circumstances, our perceived limits are unaligned with the real limits.
I was sick recently, yet again due to the miscalculation that i thought i wouldnt have fell ill. I was already feeling ill on my duty night, and to exacerbate the situation, it was an overnight duty. The next morning i went home i rested, but it was never enough. Plus a few days of insufficient sleep thereafter, it culminated in this terrible streak of illness.
So being able to grasp the limit, knowing when to steer out of dangerous traps is vital for survival. It is the accumulation of experience that grants us greater acumen in our judgement of the Limit.
January 11, 2007
Parallel Existence, Differentiated Paths
The argument over nature or nurture remains unabated, with different interpretations unleashing several schools of thoughts. Is a newly born infant a blank slate? or is it tainted by nature? Can clones behave differently? We know identical twins dont really.. Why am i posting about this?
There was once i googled my full name: "ong chin leng". Definitely many entries. I was piqued by the results, and went through 10 pages of the search. What took me aback wasn't the fact that there were quite a number of "chin leng" around. Neither was that there were two matches with the identical name as mine - ong chin leng. I was rather amazed by the many other identical "ong chin leng" could possibly exist in this world, virtually unreported. Many of them obviously didnt made it to the google headlines. Including mine. Of course that depends on the availability of modern communication in places they live in, but for those who made it to the net, it speaks volumes of efforts that these people, or institutions, which try to advertise and convey their interests in making themselves or their customers known.
The first clone of mine was this award winner in NUS. He got an award in doing research regarding electrophoresis. Awesome indeed! I was impressed upon the revelelation. Oh well, then i continued browsing... Guess who is the next person? A hawker who successfully tendered a stall at Toa Payoh area. Not that its inferior, i was just stunned. Again of course that website was a government website, not a personal one. Both are local websites.
Parallel existence indeed. But totally different walks of life. People around them conjure images of "chin leng". People socialising with the NUS achiever would definitely have a different impression than others knowing the hawker named chin leng. Another unpublished chin leng probably exists in some other part of the world. But what i have derived from this small episode is the extent of being conscious of how people view us.
Some are very concerned that others view themselves in a negative way. A few dont want others to construe certain traits of themselves, e.g. selfish, inconsiderate, boot-licker, etc.. Also there is another group who are over conscious, i.e their behaviour and actions therefore revolve around the aim of preventing such unpleasant impressions to be tagged onto them. Indeed all of us may not totally fall into the last category, but we exhibit tinges of such traits here and there in our daily lives. It is often inevitable because it is the workings of our sub conscious. But to allow further degeneration of these thoughts into generalisations and skewed perceptions is to endanger our mental state, hypnotizing our spirits unnecessarily.
There is just this thin, almost undiscernable boundary which separates the two extreme forms of self awareness. The way we are brought up and the environment we live in definitely plays a part in determining our predisposition. Yes, both nature and nurture. We would have to best manage our own expections towards a perceived image of ourself so that we will always lead a balance and fulfilling life.
Only in such a manner our paths in life would be undeviated and uninhibited.
There was once i googled my full name: "ong chin leng". Definitely many entries. I was piqued by the results, and went through 10 pages of the search. What took me aback wasn't the fact that there were quite a number of "chin leng" around. Neither was that there were two matches with the identical name as mine - ong chin leng. I was rather amazed by the many other identical "ong chin leng" could possibly exist in this world, virtually unreported. Many of them obviously didnt made it to the google headlines. Including mine. Of course that depends on the availability of modern communication in places they live in, but for those who made it to the net, it speaks volumes of efforts that these people, or institutions, which try to advertise and convey their interests in making themselves or their customers known.
The first clone of mine was this award winner in NUS. He got an award in doing research regarding electrophoresis. Awesome indeed! I was impressed upon the revelelation. Oh well, then i continued browsing... Guess who is the next person? A hawker who successfully tendered a stall at Toa Payoh area. Not that its inferior, i was just stunned. Again of course that website was a government website, not a personal one. Both are local websites.
Parallel existence indeed. But totally different walks of life. People around them conjure images of "chin leng". People socialising with the NUS achiever would definitely have a different impression than others knowing the hawker named chin leng. Another unpublished chin leng probably exists in some other part of the world. But what i have derived from this small episode is the extent of being conscious of how people view us.
Some are very concerned that others view themselves in a negative way. A few dont want others to construe certain traits of themselves, e.g. selfish, inconsiderate, boot-licker, etc.. Also there is another group who are over conscious, i.e their behaviour and actions therefore revolve around the aim of preventing such unpleasant impressions to be tagged onto them. Indeed all of us may not totally fall into the last category, but we exhibit tinges of such traits here and there in our daily lives. It is often inevitable because it is the workings of our sub conscious. But to allow further degeneration of these thoughts into generalisations and skewed perceptions is to endanger our mental state, hypnotizing our spirits unnecessarily.
There is just this thin, almost undiscernable boundary which separates the two extreme forms of self awareness. The way we are brought up and the environment we live in definitely plays a part in determining our predisposition. Yes, both nature and nurture. We would have to best manage our own expections towards a perceived image of ourself so that we will always lead a balance and fulfilling life.
Only in such a manner our paths in life would be undeviated and uninhibited.
January 02, 2007
Lesson # 1 - Expectations: A Window To Our Emotions
Sound fast yeah? Just sounded like i had a bad experience or sth... In fact u could say it was an unexpected outcome positively taken. Actually our lives are always full of "oh yars" and "i got it", or even subtle indications for changes. There is a triggering event for these responses, albeit they may be both pleasant and unpleasant ones. But its ok, it isnt always sundays, and things naturally do not always proceed as planned .We need to embrace surprises, be prepared for adaptations towards changes. Natural selection - survival of the fittest.
I've came to conclude that what essentially governs our emotions are our expectations. Generally, the greater the dissimilarity in what we hope to achieve and what we have, the more agitated and unstable our emotions are. By quelling any upsurge of emotions isnt the remedy for such misguided problem. By altering our expections, we would slowly initiate the rehabilitative process, but i would like to underscore the fact that altering doesnt mean lowering. Varying would be better i shld say. Learning to seek solace in subjects which we try to derive greater meaning in life, not purely as a respite from the reality.
So what is expectation then? To me, i define it as the extent of acknowledgement of our self worth. And to measure the extent, we have an inner benchmark. This benchmark must never be only compared against yourself, for although many ppl would like to say that by triumphing ourself its sufficient, i would say what if u think u are good, but in fact u are like the last in this world, wouldn't ur ego plunge to the bottom at the very next instant. So lets get realistic, we do need to weigh ourselves against something. But what is that something? Thats where it is crucial. You grade yourself against that something which must be conceivable, achievable, and most of all, somthing which u gradually acquired confidence in it. By setting this benchmark, i am definitely precluding any arguments for setting easy expectations. Of course if u are one which is highly pacified, it just means that u've set a wrong comparison. To yourself its right, but for your own good it may not be that correct. We must always expect a persevering process in order to achieve our expectations, so do take this as a guide when u set expectations. In summary, it must be an expectation within reach, not out of reach or easily in reach!
There is yet another problem. Some people are just stubborn to alter their expectations. So why are many resistant to change? Because we were all along unchanged. We were all along in this unshaken comfort zone of ours, only expecting everything to be going on the way we want. We have been untouched, left undisturbed, and have developed immense inertia for change. We havent experience change, and cant really conceive change. That is why we are still deep rooted in our abyss of misery, allowing the uncontrolled roller coaster of emotions to manipulate our lives, which i think is quite a sad thing. I dont mean to insult people with sensations, nor the least critisize people who are slightly over sensitive, but i mean people who are displaying unnecessary sentiments and tendencies as a result of tainted expectations.
So what relevance has it lent to my life? I have fine tuned my perspectives of "outings", meaning just any kind of gathering, class outing etc. Have u experience outings whereby all activities are well planned, i.e. movie, then lunch, then followed by another activity, all so well organised? It's definitely fulfilling in this instance. But have u also turned out for an outing when all goes unprepared, i.e. we meet for movie or sth for instance, but in the end some disappointment ensue, so what follows is just hanging around, talking, sitting down for hours chatting. What would a person with flambuoyant expectations feel? How would he respond? If u are so unused to it, i bet u would feel horrible and terribly unaccomplished. But if u were composed enough to rein control of your emotions, take a step back, and question the purpose of outings, you would probably remind yourself that it isnt the materialistic comfort that underpins any great outing, spiritual fulfilment does depict the true value too. Of course this depends on the expectations and perspectives of your other mates involved in the gathering too, thats why i mentioned above that we should not only benchmark against ourselves.
I'm glad that i have friends who are just contented with having friends just like myself, enjoying what people may define as "shabby" outings in an ungrudging manner. U wont know it unless such outings occur, for what u have been used to are extravagant, or maybe at least a decently planned scheduled outing. This episode initiated a change in my expectations.
"It is when we contend with ridiculously simple engagement with a bunch of people where seeds of friendship are sown, and not in the eventful facade of indulgement"
If u can sit still with a friend for a few hours chatting and leave as happy as u once were, and dont mind doing so, that probably epitomises one of the many valuable aspects of friendship.
I've came to conclude that what essentially governs our emotions are our expectations. Generally, the greater the dissimilarity in what we hope to achieve and what we have, the more agitated and unstable our emotions are. By quelling any upsurge of emotions isnt the remedy for such misguided problem. By altering our expections, we would slowly initiate the rehabilitative process, but i would like to underscore the fact that altering doesnt mean lowering. Varying would be better i shld say. Learning to seek solace in subjects which we try to derive greater meaning in life, not purely as a respite from the reality.
So what is expectation then? To me, i define it as the extent of acknowledgement of our self worth. And to measure the extent, we have an inner benchmark. This benchmark must never be only compared against yourself, for although many ppl would like to say that by triumphing ourself its sufficient, i would say what if u think u are good, but in fact u are like the last in this world, wouldn't ur ego plunge to the bottom at the very next instant. So lets get realistic, we do need to weigh ourselves against something. But what is that something? Thats where it is crucial. You grade yourself against that something which must be conceivable, achievable, and most of all, somthing which u gradually acquired confidence in it. By setting this benchmark, i am definitely precluding any arguments for setting easy expectations. Of course if u are one which is highly pacified, it just means that u've set a wrong comparison. To yourself its right, but for your own good it may not be that correct. We must always expect a persevering process in order to achieve our expectations, so do take this as a guide when u set expectations. In summary, it must be an expectation within reach, not out of reach or easily in reach!
There is yet another problem. Some people are just stubborn to alter their expectations. So why are many resistant to change? Because we were all along unchanged. We were all along in this unshaken comfort zone of ours, only expecting everything to be going on the way we want. We have been untouched, left undisturbed, and have developed immense inertia for change. We havent experience change, and cant really conceive change. That is why we are still deep rooted in our abyss of misery, allowing the uncontrolled roller coaster of emotions to manipulate our lives, which i think is quite a sad thing. I dont mean to insult people with sensations, nor the least critisize people who are slightly over sensitive, but i mean people who are displaying unnecessary sentiments and tendencies as a result of tainted expectations.
So what relevance has it lent to my life? I have fine tuned my perspectives of "outings", meaning just any kind of gathering, class outing etc. Have u experience outings whereby all activities are well planned, i.e. movie, then lunch, then followed by another activity, all so well organised? It's definitely fulfilling in this instance. But have u also turned out for an outing when all goes unprepared, i.e. we meet for movie or sth for instance, but in the end some disappointment ensue, so what follows is just hanging around, talking, sitting down for hours chatting. What would a person with flambuoyant expectations feel? How would he respond? If u are so unused to it, i bet u would feel horrible and terribly unaccomplished. But if u were composed enough to rein control of your emotions, take a step back, and question the purpose of outings, you would probably remind yourself that it isnt the materialistic comfort that underpins any great outing, spiritual fulfilment does depict the true value too. Of course this depends on the expectations and perspectives of your other mates involved in the gathering too, thats why i mentioned above that we should not only benchmark against ourselves.
I'm glad that i have friends who are just contented with having friends just like myself, enjoying what people may define as "shabby" outings in an ungrudging manner. U wont know it unless such outings occur, for what u have been used to are extravagant, or maybe at least a decently planned scheduled outing. This episode initiated a change in my expectations.
"It is when we contend with ridiculously simple engagement with a bunch of people where seeds of friendship are sown, and not in the eventful facade of indulgement"
If u can sit still with a friend for a few hours chatting and leave as happy as u once were, and dont mind doing so, that probably epitomises one of the many valuable aspects of friendship.
December 31, 2006
A Last Post For 2006
I know this might appear last minute. But nevertheless i shall continue as i am racing against time. Caroling for this year was fun but exhausting, greatly attributed to my slip disc. But i shall not dampen everyone's mood by rambling on to that.
My Carol Schedule this year:
2 Dec - VC @ SAFRA Mt Faber
12-13 Dec - VJ @ Marina Square
15 Dec - VC @ Biopolis
17 Dec - VJ @ The Pines
21 Dec - VC @ Toh Chai Concert
22 Dec - VJ @ Ritz Carlton
23 Dec - VC @ Hyatt
25 Dec - VJ @ Raffles
Really enjoyed the singing alot. I was allowed to conduct a few sessions in total, and i must really thank debbie and martin for giving me the chance. Its the simplicity and joy in conducting, not so much how well i conducted. okays.. so much for illustrating memories. Let some pictures do the talking. The picture on the left is self explanatory, and on the right is a year 3 photo, i.e. recent photo at Raffles after the reunion session on 25 th. Oh thanks for the pics gabriel!
Happy New Year To One And All! :) Year 2007 is so wonderful, its my ORD :)
4th Nov. 308 days left. Its ticking...
December 20, 2006
The Power Of Imagination
More often that not when in our own personal imagination, we dream of something wonderful. We dream of achieving freedom, wealth, and other paradise-like goals. But many of us are often stuck in this reality. While we are indulging in our fantasizing, we fail to realise that by doing so, we are not the least helping ourselves to inch towards these coveted dreams. Why? Because no practical thinking was done, what we did were the intangibles. A couple of people live in this category, i.e. self-delusion, and to a little extent, self-deceit. They are usually under-achievers.
But yet there is yet another group of people who occasionally fantasize about their ideal aspirations, but what sets them apart is that in their fantasies, they inserted a small segment, which is a link back to the present. In what they are dreaming, they remind themselves that they are working towards this goal, and constantly offer themselves encouragement through such imaginative aid. This bunch of people are wiser and more likely to succeed.
Then there is this small group of people who are very pragmatic and conservative. i would say they wouldn't have too ambitious dreams. They might have idyllic goals, but definitely something within their reach. These people seldom waste time indulging in the nobility of their goals, they get down into serious work, inching slowly, yet ever so steadily towards their destination. This people would also succeed, but not in a very ground-breaking, impressive manner.
I guess all of us somewhat belong into one of these categories. There is never a distinct boundary btw these 3 traits. It is a graded measurement. We may have shades here and there. But ultimately, we should all aim towards the second one, imaginative aid.
"Harnessing The Mental Perk Provided by Our Imaginations To Empower Our Physical Actions"
But yet there is yet another group of people who occasionally fantasize about their ideal aspirations, but what sets them apart is that in their fantasies, they inserted a small segment, which is a link back to the present. In what they are dreaming, they remind themselves that they are working towards this goal, and constantly offer themselves encouragement through such imaginative aid. This bunch of people are wiser and more likely to succeed.
Then there is this small group of people who are very pragmatic and conservative. i would say they wouldn't have too ambitious dreams. They might have idyllic goals, but definitely something within their reach. These people seldom waste time indulging in the nobility of their goals, they get down into serious work, inching slowly, yet ever so steadily towards their destination. This people would also succeed, but not in a very ground-breaking, impressive manner.
I guess all of us somewhat belong into one of these categories. There is never a distinct boundary btw these 3 traits. It is a graded measurement. We may have shades here and there. But ultimately, we should all aim towards the second one, imaginative aid.
"Harnessing The Mental Perk Provided by Our Imaginations To Empower Our Physical Actions"
December 11, 2006
An Enchanting Year of Unknown Freedom
Well, though the year hasn't really ended, i thought i should just make a review early. This post is inspired by the post on simin's blog, where i commented on my all year round army life.. bleah..
Year of 2006: An Enchanting Year of Unknown Freedom. Why unknown? Army i would say. Neither did i know what life in NS would be, what would i face, and how would i cope. But all these uncertainty had ceased as i progressed towards the fourth quarter of the year. Now the condition has stabilised. But for the benefit of the majority of the months in this year, the Unknown shall remain :)
Probably some philosophy before i go on? How does one feel when one sails in unchartered waters, tread on unknown grounds? How confident are we facing the vicissitudes of life when we ourselves arent exactly sure what will emerge? Have you ever felt that the future isnt in your grip? Well, thats what i felt when i just enlisted in Jan. No thoughts about the gruelling 2 years and the impatience to ORD right in the beginning of the year, partly due to the fact that it was not pleasant knowing it? So i just felt my life was to be dictated. To be instructed, and i fear to say the least, be governed. BMT gave me a new dimension to life, i mean through the inception of Army life. No comments abt the intrigues of it, but yeah a significant alteration of my lifestyle and habits. So it was a forced change then. "Things are always sweeter in retrospect" (really?) So i would say, a welcome change. Tough training it was, especially in Ninja coy, but nevertheless one great soldier :)
That took away almost a quarter of my year, with CNY segmenting my BMT. I went to sispec bslc. Another change. Ok lets not talk abt the army aspect. My life changed too... It was a different form of training, a more specialised training. More respect. And i begun to accept the tougher training over time. 12 weeks i spent there. But however, it was in sispec where i injured my back, slipping the disc. In medical terms, Prolapsed Intevertebral Disc (PID), Lumbar disc herniation or whatever other terms. Well, told ya the army aspect of it was different. Training in sispec was different in nature as compared to BMT. My new found endurance through BMT was immediately and yet cruelly put to test in sispec, i triumph, but paid a heavy price. So that was all i had of sispec, in brevity.
Then i proceeded to Signal Institute for my 2nd part of 3SG course. Course started in June. Yet another totally different experience there. Knowledge intensive i would say. We learnt alot on signal communications and yup it reminded me much about physics. Imagine learning dc and ac currents all over again? Thats my first lecture. I reported my prolonged condtition of sciatica (sharp pain radiating from the butt all the way through the back of my thighs to ankle) to the MO, where he was quick to refer me to Alexandra Hospital. I took a X-ray, and subsequently MRI. Diagnosis confirmed slipdisc at L4L5 and L5S1. Ah, the news was so shattering. But gradually i lived with it. My course ended in 16 of Aug, and i was posted to 2 sig bn.
Stay was about 1.5 months. A great comaraderie there. An active unit. Caring individuals, especially the PC, OC, PS, CSM. They were always there to help when i needed. At this point of time i am writing this post they have just returned from an overseas exercise in Australia. Although my stint there in 2 sig bn was short, it was definitely enriching. The timeline now stays at Oct.
I was posted to OSC, my present camp. CAnt tell u much on this camp and what i do, but its a different role that i play here. I'm a project clerk. This environment brought me closer to the sch environment and definitely a civilian life. It'll be a permanent camp which i will remain in till i ORD Nov 2007. I am looking forward to make my journey here a pleasant, and hopefully memorable one.
So, enchanting? It seemed that everything i mentioned was abt army? i scrolled up upon finishing the above paragraph and was shocked myself. Well, actually, sadly, and unfortunately, that is my life. no, that was my life. I am looking for a change in lifestyle and a shift in focus. And i'm glad it has been changing. I hope exactly one year later when i write the yearly review it would never be about army again.
So, next year's title: An enchanting year of unadulterated inner freedom! :)
PS: To all my dearest friends, Life Is A Gift. If you are not enjoying it, there is something wrong. Do not take it offensively. I know some of you may be hard up in the army or uni now. But if u would be patient in allowing me to continue, it might help you.
Either u are not looking it through the right way, or that u are not doing the right thing. The difference btw right and wrong, happy and sad, is just our perception. It is artificial, it is superficial. We must never let them rein in the rationale functionings of our daily lives. We must never let it influence our tangible contributions, our physical expression, and our predisposition.
Year of 2006: An Enchanting Year of Unknown Freedom. Why unknown? Army i would say. Neither did i know what life in NS would be, what would i face, and how would i cope. But all these uncertainty had ceased as i progressed towards the fourth quarter of the year. Now the condition has stabilised. But for the benefit of the majority of the months in this year, the Unknown shall remain :)
Probably some philosophy before i go on? How does one feel when one sails in unchartered waters, tread on unknown grounds? How confident are we facing the vicissitudes of life when we ourselves arent exactly sure what will emerge? Have you ever felt that the future isnt in your grip? Well, thats what i felt when i just enlisted in Jan. No thoughts about the gruelling 2 years and the impatience to ORD right in the beginning of the year, partly due to the fact that it was not pleasant knowing it? So i just felt my life was to be dictated. To be instructed, and i fear to say the least, be governed. BMT gave me a new dimension to life, i mean through the inception of Army life. No comments abt the intrigues of it, but yeah a significant alteration of my lifestyle and habits. So it was a forced change then. "Things are always sweeter in retrospect" (really?) So i would say, a welcome change. Tough training it was, especially in Ninja coy, but nevertheless one great soldier :)
That took away almost a quarter of my year, with CNY segmenting my BMT. I went to sispec bslc. Another change. Ok lets not talk abt the army aspect. My life changed too... It was a different form of training, a more specialised training. More respect. And i begun to accept the tougher training over time. 12 weeks i spent there. But however, it was in sispec where i injured my back, slipping the disc. In medical terms, Prolapsed Intevertebral Disc (PID), Lumbar disc herniation or whatever other terms. Well, told ya the army aspect of it was different. Training in sispec was different in nature as compared to BMT. My new found endurance through BMT was immediately and yet cruelly put to test in sispec, i triumph, but paid a heavy price. So that was all i had of sispec, in brevity.
Then i proceeded to Signal Institute for my 2nd part of 3SG course. Course started in June. Yet another totally different experience there. Knowledge intensive i would say. We learnt alot on signal communications and yup it reminded me much about physics. Imagine learning dc and ac currents all over again? Thats my first lecture. I reported my prolonged condtition of sciatica (sharp pain radiating from the butt all the way through the back of my thighs to ankle) to the MO, where he was quick to refer me to Alexandra Hospital. I took a X-ray, and subsequently MRI. Diagnosis confirmed slipdisc at L4L5 and L5S1. Ah, the news was so shattering. But gradually i lived with it. My course ended in 16 of Aug, and i was posted to 2 sig bn.
Stay was about 1.5 months. A great comaraderie there. An active unit. Caring individuals, especially the PC, OC, PS, CSM. They were always there to help when i needed. At this point of time i am writing this post they have just returned from an overseas exercise in Australia. Although my stint there in 2 sig bn was short, it was definitely enriching. The timeline now stays at Oct.
I was posted to OSC, my present camp. CAnt tell u much on this camp and what i do, but its a different role that i play here. I'm a project clerk. This environment brought me closer to the sch environment and definitely a civilian life. It'll be a permanent camp which i will remain in till i ORD Nov 2007. I am looking forward to make my journey here a pleasant, and hopefully memorable one.
So, enchanting? It seemed that everything i mentioned was abt army? i scrolled up upon finishing the above paragraph and was shocked myself. Well, actually, sadly, and unfortunately, that is my life. no, that was my life. I am looking for a change in lifestyle and a shift in focus. And i'm glad it has been changing. I hope exactly one year later when i write the yearly review it would never be about army again.
So, next year's title: An enchanting year of unadulterated inner freedom! :)
PS: To all my dearest friends, Life Is A Gift. If you are not enjoying it, there is something wrong. Do not take it offensively. I know some of you may be hard up in the army or uni now. But if u would be patient in allowing me to continue, it might help you.
Either u are not looking it through the right way, or that u are not doing the right thing. The difference btw right and wrong, happy and sad, is just our perception. It is artificial, it is superficial. We must never let them rein in the rationale functionings of our daily lives. We must never let it influence our tangible contributions, our physical expression, and our predisposition.
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