As much as humans seek acknowledgement and affirmation, what is less obvious but yet a truth in many of us is that we all sometimes do not give ourselves chances to be human, i.e. to be ourselves. The cloud of expectations hovering around us seems invisibly thick. These expectations can be imposed by us or by our friends, families or the society at large. The problem isn't with having expectations. It is when we do not meet expectations. It is when things around us do not seem to be happening the right way. And so we start to feel anxious, worrisome, angry etc. Woohoo, guess what happens next?
Of course, if there is a problem, fix it. Thats the most idiot proof and inevitable way out. Try as much to rectify as possible. Find the root cause of it.. see who or what was at fault. Usually its fine if we can isolate an external cause to it. But for those who have a predisposed tendency to blame themselves (aka having an internal locus of control, or perhaps even a pessimistic explanatory style), this finger pointing/fault finding episode usually degenerates into a thrashing of the individual's self esteem. Its me! All my fault! Why did i...? I should not have...! Worse still... I am stupid!
Of course, there are some errors which genuinely deserve us to take the thrashing, like they said, as a gentleman. They require us to 'Repent' (but certainly not for 5 years!). ok no pun intended. Having said so, many of us overstep this boundary in this blame game. Irrational magnifications of problems, coupled with habitual twisted beliefs about oneself, and selective attention to the negatives thrusts us into the core of unrelenting self-reproach and harsh evaluation.
We seem to have forgotten that we afterall possess the ability to misjudge, the capacity to make mistakes, and the capacity to be irrational. Yes, it is not an accidental relapse of our seemingly perfect human ability. I say again, it is not a relapse. We POSSESS these abilities to fall backward. We are born with tendencies to make mistakes. We have to give ourselves space to make them. And by that i mean the unconditional acceptance when bad things happen, and a haven to rehabilitate, and recover from these occasions.
It does not need to be something we have done wrong. It can refer to any form of dissonance we are experiencing. For e.g. we want to feel jealous, but we do not allow ourselves to by rationalizing for e.g that the person is our best friend. Or when u have let out an embarrassing noise in public which makes us feel very bad at ourselves. Well, things may be just not concurring to our perceived reality, but that doesn't mean we have to be emotionally charged over it.
After all, there should be mistakes made in life. There should be awkward moments. There should be uncomfortable situations. There should be jokes made at us. At times we ought to look stupid. At times we are stupid. If we give ourselves the liberty to look and feel out of place, we grant ourselves a ticket to salvaging ourselves from these seemingly undesirable situations.
Looking from an alternative perspective, thats how our lives becomes interesting. Thats how the scenery around us becomes so beautiful. The things that bursts our expectations, incidents that surfaces out of the ordinary, and the surprises that pops out our way.
Indeed, if we would only allow ourselves the right to enjoy them :)
May 10, 2011
May 07, 2011
Chirality
Linking life to chemistry is always interesting. And here marks the start of a series of analogues that have spun off my wandering mind, always connecting the dots and trying to think like a philosopher (which in fact may be a product of analysis paralysis)
My many years of chemistry education has taught me about chirality pretty comprehensively. The first time i encountered this term was in JC. Just knowing the + and - enantiomers. Then in uni we learnt about defining R and S. CIP rules, etc. And also from the perspective of symmetry, there goes another definition of chirality, one that lacks an improper axis of rotation (Sn).
Something interesting about chirality is the fact that you are the one and only one existing in the realm of molecules, because even your mirror image is non-superimposable, and thus dissimilar. Indeed, every individual is chiral. Yes, if you consider yourself as an object (the tangible), or your attributes & characteristics (intangibles). We are who we are because of many variables in life which we are different from the rest, arising from a myriad of different factors such as culture, upbringing, environment, dispositions etc.
Lets talk about our mirror images - who are they actually? I would like to advocate that they are how we look from others viewpoint, i.e. the side that people see us as. We are real creatures. How we behave is a reflection of our thoughts and beliefs. We act out our life to fulfil our inner motives. We hope as much to be congruent as possible with who we are as a person interacting with the ever-changing environment. Thats why they are called mirror images - mathematically positioned to be equi-distant from mirror plane etc. It highlights the supposed perception of who we are from the perspective of others vis a vis our true self. We all know that sometimes its not always the case. Sometimes we try to present to others a false side. Lets leave that topic to another day.
There are similarities despite being chiral. But well, enantiomers share many physical properties and chemical properties, only different with respect of its behaviour to plane polarised light. We as individuals share common social characteristics, behavioural responses and thought patterns at large. When we are subjected to ethical norms and society benchmarks, we are moulded into right-thinking individuals according to these beacons. We adhere to these beliefs that forge us to our identity as a group. These groups could be cliques, organisations, associations, institutions or even race, religion, and ethnic in nature. Important point here is that we are always classified, categorised and structurally defined to surface our usefulness and value in the world we live in.
In the 3-dimensional world, chirality gives specificity to the molecule. Enzymes in our body require specificity to function properly. Scents differ significantly just because of the difference in the chirality of one stereogenic centre. Chirality unleashes trememdous functional implications. Humans do as well. The attributes we have, the defining characteristics of who we are, are often have its value and implications in our lives. 天生我才必有用. This chinese proverb explains it all. However eccentric we are, we will always be complementary to someone. We will always be able to derive our self-worth in a meaningful way. 天底下必有你容身之处. You are the key. And there will be a lock. Remember the lock and key hypothesis?
Some of us then question - then how about the ability to change ourselves? If we are a bad person (from a molecular point of view maybe a pathogenic molecule or toxin), can we transform into something better? Well, i am a firm believer in humanistic psychology, and yes i will let you know how chemistry also endorses the human potential for change. Well you see, chirality in a molecule can be lost in many ways. Organic chemistry tells us that simple tautomerism may destroy chiral centres. Condensation reactions may eliminate chiral centres. In fact, a list of reactions may do so. Addition reactions can re create chiral centres. And here you go, a set of reactions that can eliminate and generate chiral centres. To take it further, assymetric synthesis allows you to synthesize the exact chirality at the atom of interest. Whew! Interesting isn't it? This begs the question: are we able to cultivate characteristics that we want?
I may have lost some of my readers in the last paragraph because of chemistry content. But nevertheless, i know you guys trust me that i know my chemistry well :P In fact, the concept of chirality in chemistry can have many interesting parallels in our lives. Share with me if you have some! You'll never know what happens when 2 chiral molecules react together. The potential is endless :)
My many years of chemistry education has taught me about chirality pretty comprehensively. The first time i encountered this term was in JC. Just knowing the + and - enantiomers. Then in uni we learnt about defining R and S. CIP rules, etc. And also from the perspective of symmetry, there goes another definition of chirality, one that lacks an improper axis of rotation (Sn).
Something interesting about chirality is the fact that you are the one and only one existing in the realm of molecules, because even your mirror image is non-superimposable, and thus dissimilar. Indeed, every individual is chiral. Yes, if you consider yourself as an object (the tangible), or your attributes & characteristics (intangibles). We are who we are because of many variables in life which we are different from the rest, arising from a myriad of different factors such as culture, upbringing, environment, dispositions etc.
Lets talk about our mirror images - who are they actually? I would like to advocate that they are how we look from others viewpoint, i.e. the side that people see us as. We are real creatures. How we behave is a reflection of our thoughts and beliefs. We act out our life to fulfil our inner motives. We hope as much to be congruent as possible with who we are as a person interacting with the ever-changing environment. Thats why they are called mirror images - mathematically positioned to be equi-distant from mirror plane etc. It highlights the supposed perception of who we are from the perspective of others vis a vis our true self. We all know that sometimes its not always the case. Sometimes we try to present to others a false side. Lets leave that topic to another day.
There are similarities despite being chiral. But well, enantiomers share many physical properties and chemical properties, only different with respect of its behaviour to plane polarised light. We as individuals share common social characteristics, behavioural responses and thought patterns at large. When we are subjected to ethical norms and society benchmarks, we are moulded into right-thinking individuals according to these beacons. We adhere to these beliefs that forge us to our identity as a group. These groups could be cliques, organisations, associations, institutions or even race, religion, and ethnic in nature. Important point here is that we are always classified, categorised and structurally defined to surface our usefulness and value in the world we live in.
In the 3-dimensional world, chirality gives specificity to the molecule. Enzymes in our body require specificity to function properly. Scents differ significantly just because of the difference in the chirality of one stereogenic centre. Chirality unleashes trememdous functional implications. Humans do as well. The attributes we have, the defining characteristics of who we are, are often have its value and implications in our lives. 天生我才必有用. This chinese proverb explains it all. However eccentric we are, we will always be complementary to someone. We will always be able to derive our self-worth in a meaningful way. 天底下必有你容身之处. You are the key. And there will be a lock. Remember the lock and key hypothesis?
Some of us then question - then how about the ability to change ourselves? If we are a bad person (from a molecular point of view maybe a pathogenic molecule or toxin), can we transform into something better? Well, i am a firm believer in humanistic psychology, and yes i will let you know how chemistry also endorses the human potential for change. Well you see, chirality in a molecule can be lost in many ways. Organic chemistry tells us that simple tautomerism may destroy chiral centres. Condensation reactions may eliminate chiral centres. In fact, a list of reactions may do so. Addition reactions can re create chiral centres. And here you go, a set of reactions that can eliminate and generate chiral centres. To take it further, assymetric synthesis allows you to synthesize the exact chirality at the atom of interest. Whew! Interesting isn't it? This begs the question: are we able to cultivate characteristics that we want?
I may have lost some of my readers in the last paragraph because of chemistry content. But nevertheless, i know you guys trust me that i know my chemistry well :P In fact, the concept of chirality in chemistry can have many interesting parallels in our lives. Share with me if you have some! You'll never know what happens when 2 chiral molecules react together. The potential is endless :)
May 04, 2011
When I Wander..
People wander. Since young when we made our first cries to the world, we started to explore the world. They were to us all fresh and foreign. We wander around all the time. We were undeniably inquisitive. Curious about everything that went round. And we expressed ourselves just as straightforward as we could. There wasn't any holding back. Whatever we felt we needed, we clamored for it.
But as we grew up, influenced by our environment and our upbringing, we learnt about the word 'restraint'. By incessant conditioning (operant or classical), our actions and expressions become abit more systematic and predictable. Some habits start to form, consciously or unconsciously. I would like to say that some of the innocence and fundamental traits as a child were, unfortunately buried.
As we grow smarter and smarter, developed cognitively, we learnt to think for ourselves, and start to reflect about our behaviour. With a brain, we inevitably put it into good use - learning arithmetic, picking up linguistic skills, but at the same time our brain had a role to play in emotional regulation, information filtering, and interpretation. Our brain machinery start to become a factory in which there was a supervisor managing the operation process. Things that we wanted, we took it in. Things that were not so desirable, we would always know where to hide it, dispose it, change it, or process it. We start to develop our own fanciful operating mechanisms and processes such as 'masks', 'emotional veils' and 'defences' that would serve in our best interest and protect us from all sorts of stimuli facing us daily. This marks the start of being more complex as a human.
And this trend progresses on inexorably, with us acquiring more high level and sophisticated skills, such as rationalisation, internal dialogues, disguises, facades, etc. They all seem so natural to us somehow. We can pull it off easily, sometimes subconsciously. Sometimes we become very 'fake' to others, and words like 'superficial' start to pop up describing a person.
It makes me wonder and wander at the same time, that while these skills serve perhaps an evolutionary need, whether we become subservient to them too often that they work against us.
I wander.....
And when one wanders, the mind is set free at once.. not complying any form of premediated mechanisms of the machinery. It is free to think about every possible matter and possibility. Things that would normally escape your thoughts. There are no rules. Our aspirations, desires (even farfetched ones) come knocking on us. And sometimes it seems like a fairytale.. so unadulterated, so idealistic, and feels just like reality (and then you would tell yourself, I WISH). And reality hits at you. Its not real. Or at least you would have to work towards it to make it possible.
I feel that wandering is just like a dream. When u dream at night, they say it is due to matters u think about in the day or perhaps some unresolved issue u have in your mind. When you wander, sometimes your brain goes back to these issues, and help you to seek out solutions, just like an automated machinery. The only difference is of course, it is much more free, though one may argue that many of these thoughts still tread within certain mental boundaries (i.e. we may not be thinking out of the box). How many of us ever have that experience of the AHAH moment when we are just doing something routine for e.g. having a meal, shower, walking back home, etc and we suddenly made a connection or found a solution to our life matters?
The mind seems to be more productive when we are not actively thinking of those issues which we wish to solve! Wandering does have its benefits. But we have to fully utilise these times of wandering. We have to use it to encourage ourselves about the possibilities of our lives. We have to leverage on the platform to remind us that we are larger than life, that impossible is nothing. We have to bring ourselves close to experience the abundance in life, and fit our current situation in a broader context.
Well sometimes when we wander, we can't really control its direction. And we maybe treading on dangerous grounds. Overly contemplative moods and pessimistic ruminations may blow things out of their proportion, and especially negative thoughts. Downward spirals often occur, and sometimes we get plunged to the deep abyss. There are times where it happen to me. And surely, it doesnt feel good. It saps up all my energy, and leaves me in a destitute state.
So when i wander, all sorts of things can potentially happen. As much as my mind is now free, the chain of events that follow wandering may not set me free eventually. Should we really leave our minds to wander? Is it really worth the bet?
Some people will get more positive returns than the other. They are in general more optimistic and have a larger generalised positive affect (what we describe in psychology) for a tendency to feel more uplifted and upbeat about things.I know thats not to a large extent true in me. But i still love to wander about the positive things in life. About how things will turn out well. At least i try to force myself to think about it, just like many people consciously seek to shut themselves out from the unpleasant.
Always trying to apply the law of attraction, focusing on the positives and making it a reality. Sometimes i really wish life is not so complicated. Humans can express themselves freely, and say what they want to the other person's face. But we can't. And i know i face a big problem at this. I nonetheless experience a rich amount of emotions behind my seemingly composed and nonchalant appearance.
And so when i wander, things that don't get expressed start to fill up my thoughts like air filling its space in a balloon. I know why i wander now, because most of the time, these issues remain unresolved. But they take time. They challenge me to move out of my comfort zone, and push myself to my limits. I just have to be wary of the emotional traps that may be unleashed.
But as we grew up, influenced by our environment and our upbringing, we learnt about the word 'restraint'. By incessant conditioning (operant or classical), our actions and expressions become abit more systematic and predictable. Some habits start to form, consciously or unconsciously. I would like to say that some of the innocence and fundamental traits as a child were, unfortunately buried.
As we grow smarter and smarter, developed cognitively, we learnt to think for ourselves, and start to reflect about our behaviour. With a brain, we inevitably put it into good use - learning arithmetic, picking up linguistic skills, but at the same time our brain had a role to play in emotional regulation, information filtering, and interpretation. Our brain machinery start to become a factory in which there was a supervisor managing the operation process. Things that we wanted, we took it in. Things that were not so desirable, we would always know where to hide it, dispose it, change it, or process it. We start to develop our own fanciful operating mechanisms and processes such as 'masks', 'emotional veils' and 'defences' that would serve in our best interest and protect us from all sorts of stimuli facing us daily. This marks the start of being more complex as a human.
And this trend progresses on inexorably, with us acquiring more high level and sophisticated skills, such as rationalisation, internal dialogues, disguises, facades, etc. They all seem so natural to us somehow. We can pull it off easily, sometimes subconsciously. Sometimes we become very 'fake' to others, and words like 'superficial' start to pop up describing a person.
It makes me wonder and wander at the same time, that while these skills serve perhaps an evolutionary need, whether we become subservient to them too often that they work against us.
I wander.....
And when one wanders, the mind is set free at once.. not complying any form of premediated mechanisms of the machinery. It is free to think about every possible matter and possibility. Things that would normally escape your thoughts. There are no rules. Our aspirations, desires (even farfetched ones) come knocking on us. And sometimes it seems like a fairytale.. so unadulterated, so idealistic, and feels just like reality (and then you would tell yourself, I WISH). And reality hits at you. Its not real. Or at least you would have to work towards it to make it possible.
I feel that wandering is just like a dream. When u dream at night, they say it is due to matters u think about in the day or perhaps some unresolved issue u have in your mind. When you wander, sometimes your brain goes back to these issues, and help you to seek out solutions, just like an automated machinery. The only difference is of course, it is much more free, though one may argue that many of these thoughts still tread within certain mental boundaries (i.e. we may not be thinking out of the box). How many of us ever have that experience of the AHAH moment when we are just doing something routine for e.g. having a meal, shower, walking back home, etc and we suddenly made a connection or found a solution to our life matters?
The mind seems to be more productive when we are not actively thinking of those issues which we wish to solve! Wandering does have its benefits. But we have to fully utilise these times of wandering. We have to use it to encourage ourselves about the possibilities of our lives. We have to leverage on the platform to remind us that we are larger than life, that impossible is nothing. We have to bring ourselves close to experience the abundance in life, and fit our current situation in a broader context.
Well sometimes when we wander, we can't really control its direction. And we maybe treading on dangerous grounds. Overly contemplative moods and pessimistic ruminations may blow things out of their proportion, and especially negative thoughts. Downward spirals often occur, and sometimes we get plunged to the deep abyss. There are times where it happen to me. And surely, it doesnt feel good. It saps up all my energy, and leaves me in a destitute state.
So when i wander, all sorts of things can potentially happen. As much as my mind is now free, the chain of events that follow wandering may not set me free eventually. Should we really leave our minds to wander? Is it really worth the bet?
Some people will get more positive returns than the other. They are in general more optimistic and have a larger generalised positive affect (what we describe in psychology) for a tendency to feel more uplifted and upbeat about things.I know thats not to a large extent true in me. But i still love to wander about the positive things in life. About how things will turn out well. At least i try to force myself to think about it, just like many people consciously seek to shut themselves out from the unpleasant.
Always trying to apply the law of attraction, focusing on the positives and making it a reality. Sometimes i really wish life is not so complicated. Humans can express themselves freely, and say what they want to the other person's face. But we can't. And i know i face a big problem at this. I nonetheless experience a rich amount of emotions behind my seemingly composed and nonchalant appearance.
And so when i wander, things that don't get expressed start to fill up my thoughts like air filling its space in a balloon. I know why i wander now, because most of the time, these issues remain unresolved. But they take time. They challenge me to move out of my comfort zone, and push myself to my limits. I just have to be wary of the emotional traps that may be unleashed.
April 25, 2011
Habituation
Habituation exists as a biological adaptive response to repeated stimuli so as to attenuate its effect. As far as the realm of senses are concerned, habituation has served its role pretty well. We no longer treat the engine noise of the airplane as disturbing and soon fall into sleep, and to those who listen to music while doing other work, you prefer the music to remain in the background of your focus, and thats what habituation has achieved for you.
On the flip side, habituation has been a disservice at times when people take whatever is happening in front of them as being routine. Good things or bad things alike. When you repeatedly achieve success or good results, we start to give lesser credit to our diligence which has brought us there. It is being thought of as something innate and inherent in us so much that we forgot that it was once a cherished object or a prized possession. Yes, we underappreciate those around us. Our mind is seeking for something novel, something different to focus on. What was done is casted to the very back of our mind.
Life is always in abundance. There are always many perspectives to take on a subject matter, always many positions, solutions, and resolutions to take in a circumstance or situation. A multitude of responses to fit our desired aims.People are often stuck in decision making because their minds fail to see the possibilities, a much often product of habituation. We expect the same outcome everytime, the same way of doing things, and even similar mistakes. The only constant in this world is change, unfortunately. And so, our minds should not be set to habituation.
In working on the same piece of assignment, making the same flavour of coffee, or ringing the same doorbell, there are always new surprises. We have to be prepared. Applying it to unfavourable circumstances, we ought to think optimistically about the chain of events that occur. It may turn in our favour anytime. We have to be proactive in seizing control of ourselves and opportunities that arise instead of lamenting and grudging the plate of sour fruits in front of us.
Maybe afterall, its easier said then done. Many people are still on autopilot. Treating people around them the same way it is. Expecting things to turn out nicely and as per default. And when things don't, they place all their attention to the anomaly that occurred, the black sheep that people ofte single out, and the thorn among the roses. Doesn't that sound all too familiar? What if they are not odd? They are just unique and new?
It is perhaps in human's natural tendency to habituate. Since young, we seek safety and security in our caregivers. We try to conceive patterns of behaviour in our environment. We follow rules and norms. We obey instructions and live by our own set of protocols. We may have inadvertently tuned our minds to adhere to a set of standards for everything we do. Thats perfectly fine, because thats what create law and order at a societal level, and peace on a global scale.
But on an invidividual level, we ought to be conscious to the degree of our habituation. Always question ourselves on our thoughts and behaviour. Are they just extensions of previous expectations and experiences?
Things happen for a reason. When we start giving out the right acknowledgement and attributes to the right things and people, we will be on the right track to a happier life.
On the flip side, habituation has been a disservice at times when people take whatever is happening in front of them as being routine. Good things or bad things alike. When you repeatedly achieve success or good results, we start to give lesser credit to our diligence which has brought us there. It is being thought of as something innate and inherent in us so much that we forgot that it was once a cherished object or a prized possession. Yes, we underappreciate those around us. Our mind is seeking for something novel, something different to focus on. What was done is casted to the very back of our mind.
Life is always in abundance. There are always many perspectives to take on a subject matter, always many positions, solutions, and resolutions to take in a circumstance or situation. A multitude of responses to fit our desired aims.People are often stuck in decision making because their minds fail to see the possibilities, a much often product of habituation. We expect the same outcome everytime, the same way of doing things, and even similar mistakes. The only constant in this world is change, unfortunately. And so, our minds should not be set to habituation.
In working on the same piece of assignment, making the same flavour of coffee, or ringing the same doorbell, there are always new surprises. We have to be prepared. Applying it to unfavourable circumstances, we ought to think optimistically about the chain of events that occur. It may turn in our favour anytime. We have to be proactive in seizing control of ourselves and opportunities that arise instead of lamenting and grudging the plate of sour fruits in front of us.
Maybe afterall, its easier said then done. Many people are still on autopilot. Treating people around them the same way it is. Expecting things to turn out nicely and as per default. And when things don't, they place all their attention to the anomaly that occurred, the black sheep that people ofte single out, and the thorn among the roses. Doesn't that sound all too familiar? What if they are not odd? They are just unique and new?
It is perhaps in human's natural tendency to habituate. Since young, we seek safety and security in our caregivers. We try to conceive patterns of behaviour in our environment. We follow rules and norms. We obey instructions and live by our own set of protocols. We may have inadvertently tuned our minds to adhere to a set of standards for everything we do. Thats perfectly fine, because thats what create law and order at a societal level, and peace on a global scale.
But on an invidividual level, we ought to be conscious to the degree of our habituation. Always question ourselves on our thoughts and behaviour. Are they just extensions of previous expectations and experiences?
Things happen for a reason. When we start giving out the right acknowledgement and attributes to the right things and people, we will be on the right track to a happier life.
September 27, 2010
When it Snaps
A rubber band snaps when it is overstretched. A pipe bursts when the water pressure is too high. A person blows into a rage when he cannot contain his emotions. Things snap. Humans do as well. There is a limit to what we can tolerate and push on.
It is alright to snap, because it gives us the opportunity to re-start. It endows us with a valuable opportunity to learn from experience. It awards us with the surprise of the next better opportunity that comes by in the future. When we snap, we need to learn, we need to improve and better ourselves. A great deal of emphasis should be placed on understanding the self.
Why did we snap? Is it because of something that we know about ourselves? Or is it the unknown unknown?
I need to do some reflective thinking for now :) Because my mind is convoluted, and i am experiencing cognitive dissonance.
It is alright to snap, because it gives us the opportunity to re-start. It endows us with a valuable opportunity to learn from experience. It awards us with the surprise of the next better opportunity that comes by in the future. When we snap, we need to learn, we need to improve and better ourselves. A great deal of emphasis should be placed on understanding the self.
Why did we snap? Is it because of something that we know about ourselves? Or is it the unknown unknown?
I need to do some reflective thinking for now :) Because my mind is convoluted, and i am experiencing cognitive dissonance.
May 17, 2010
May 09, 2010
The FinePrints of Love
Love, something so multifaceted, so intangible, so obscure in its own meaning. It uncovers the entire spectrum of human emotions, revealing human nature in all its true colours. It is like the sun, the main source of energy empowering existence of all lifeforms. Yet Love cannot be measured in Intensity, Power, and other physical quantities. It can only appear so transient at times. You may acknowledge that it does not obey any conservation laws. Indeed, it is not scientific.
And yet this seemingly elusive matter has the potential to wreck havoc in our life. It can take control over each and everyone of us. It can direct our actions and behaviour. It can cause us to experience the roller coasters of our inner environment. Notwithstanding, there are many forms of love. Friendship, Relationship, Kinship, Brotherhood.. etc. All forms whose boundaries and meaning are purely unique to the people involved. I do not have the capacity and wisdom to put across what is suitable as the meaning of love, but as a participant of life, i have the right to express freely my opinion on love, at least within the realm of my experience.
Love is selfish. When there is love, there is expectation. thats the fundamental underpinning love, in my humble opinion. when you give, you don't always expect to get back anything, that is the ideal case. as we are living in the practical world, there is one assumption we must hold that makes the situation ideal - a reason/cause. Motherly love, religious love etc.. those kinds of love we deem as unselfish, unadulterated, are those that have a reason behind. for such ideal cases, there is almost nothing to discuss about, since if love is so pure, then mankind would not be who they are today. Unconditional love is something we aspire to, but it is not as practical. Imagine the entire world only bearing unconditional love. Everyone being altruistic. We are not going to move towards that because its not possible. Some one got to get rewarded more than the others. someone got to be the bad guy. thats just an incontrovertible fact of life.
And so when we shift away from unconditional love, what binds us most of the time is conditional love. Love that has a price to pay. Love that encompasses human desires, whims and fancies. Complicated love triangles.. entanglements, doing charity out of guilt conscience, but not love, etc.. many situations we can think of are just "facades" of love. the hidden agenda, be it mild or otherwise, takes over the human mind. Love, have you encountered its fineprints?
People who can utter love, but yet forget to state their fineprints - they do not know what they are truly speaking. But yet how many can be open to the truth of love, that ultimately hurts without any need for qualification? I love you, provided that XXXXXXX.. ouch. 30 years of marriage breaking down is love getting its revenge, the dwarfs quashing the giants. And it is truly painful. but how do you avoid such situations of love getting back to you? In a book called Radical honesty, the author advocates telling nothing but the truth to the person. Telling the truth that hurts bravely prevents the problem from further ballooning and obliterates the need to bury the problem.
But what is the truth? When people are in romance, when people truly are loving others (be it a relationship, kinship etc), how many of us can truly spot the ugly, selfish sides of ourselves? Being surrounded by the cloud of bliss, how many can sense the impending thunderstorm brewing? How do we ensure that we humans love truly for as little condition as possible?
What i feel is that we have to know how to say sorry. We have to learn how to admit our mistake, and be true to ourselves. we have to start appreciate the merits of others, the positives in a unpalatable situation. Recognising the positives does not mean ignoring the negatives, but also mean we have to confront the negatives in an objectively, controlled and rational way.
Being able to take a step back and stay rationale is inherently beneficial in love for the more important reason that one has the heart to make amends and strive for the better outcome. The heart and will to sustain the love is more important than what you do for this loving relationship. It is not uncommon to see people who violate this aspect by offering incessant apologies and yet remain recalcitrant or adamant to change their ways.
Love take both hands to clap. It is such a sacred relationship that the balance will easily tilt if any party reduces their commitment or devotion to the love. It is very delicate and highly sensitive. And henceforth, every aspect of one's life in a relationship can easily affect the love in between. Love, being built on common and mutual understanding, can be easily shaken by the most insignificant of things. It is therefore imperative to keep an open channel of communication or i would like to term a "helpline" in case it is slightly shaking. Quell the smallest of fires, and you will never encounter a forest fire.
Now it sounds very tedious isn't it? Then it makes you think if love is indeed so daunting and so difficult to sustain. As much as we really hope for a magical formula or an ingenius algorithm to solve problems, there will never be a mechanical way out of it.
Everyone of us will deal with it our own way. There is no right way, because everyone's form of love are defined differently. The only advice that is dispensable is: Love, with your heart.
And yet this seemingly elusive matter has the potential to wreck havoc in our life. It can take control over each and everyone of us. It can direct our actions and behaviour. It can cause us to experience the roller coasters of our inner environment. Notwithstanding, there are many forms of love. Friendship, Relationship, Kinship, Brotherhood.. etc. All forms whose boundaries and meaning are purely unique to the people involved. I do not have the capacity and wisdom to put across what is suitable as the meaning of love, but as a participant of life, i have the right to express freely my opinion on love, at least within the realm of my experience.
Love is selfish. When there is love, there is expectation. thats the fundamental underpinning love, in my humble opinion. when you give, you don't always expect to get back anything, that is the ideal case. as we are living in the practical world, there is one assumption we must hold that makes the situation ideal - a reason/cause. Motherly love, religious love etc.. those kinds of love we deem as unselfish, unadulterated, are those that have a reason behind. for such ideal cases, there is almost nothing to discuss about, since if love is so pure, then mankind would not be who they are today. Unconditional love is something we aspire to, but it is not as practical. Imagine the entire world only bearing unconditional love. Everyone being altruistic. We are not going to move towards that because its not possible. Some one got to get rewarded more than the others. someone got to be the bad guy. thats just an incontrovertible fact of life.
And so when we shift away from unconditional love, what binds us most of the time is conditional love. Love that has a price to pay. Love that encompasses human desires, whims and fancies. Complicated love triangles.. entanglements, doing charity out of guilt conscience, but not love, etc.. many situations we can think of are just "facades" of love. the hidden agenda, be it mild or otherwise, takes over the human mind. Love, have you encountered its fineprints?
People who can utter love, but yet forget to state their fineprints - they do not know what they are truly speaking. But yet how many can be open to the truth of love, that ultimately hurts without any need for qualification? I love you, provided that XXXXXXX.. ouch. 30 years of marriage breaking down is love getting its revenge, the dwarfs quashing the giants. And it is truly painful. but how do you avoid such situations of love getting back to you? In a book called Radical honesty, the author advocates telling nothing but the truth to the person. Telling the truth that hurts bravely prevents the problem from further ballooning and obliterates the need to bury the problem.
But what is the truth? When people are in romance, when people truly are loving others (be it a relationship, kinship etc), how many of us can truly spot the ugly, selfish sides of ourselves? Being surrounded by the cloud of bliss, how many can sense the impending thunderstorm brewing? How do we ensure that we humans love truly for as little condition as possible?
What i feel is that we have to know how to say sorry. We have to learn how to admit our mistake, and be true to ourselves. we have to start appreciate the merits of others, the positives in a unpalatable situation. Recognising the positives does not mean ignoring the negatives, but also mean we have to confront the negatives in an objectively, controlled and rational way.
Being able to take a step back and stay rationale is inherently beneficial in love for the more important reason that one has the heart to make amends and strive for the better outcome. The heart and will to sustain the love is more important than what you do for this loving relationship. It is not uncommon to see people who violate this aspect by offering incessant apologies and yet remain recalcitrant or adamant to change their ways.
Love take both hands to clap. It is such a sacred relationship that the balance will easily tilt if any party reduces their commitment or devotion to the love. It is very delicate and highly sensitive. And henceforth, every aspect of one's life in a relationship can easily affect the love in between. Love, being built on common and mutual understanding, can be easily shaken by the most insignificant of things. It is therefore imperative to keep an open channel of communication or i would like to term a "helpline" in case it is slightly shaking. Quell the smallest of fires, and you will never encounter a forest fire.
Now it sounds very tedious isn't it? Then it makes you think if love is indeed so daunting and so difficult to sustain. As much as we really hope for a magical formula or an ingenius algorithm to solve problems, there will never be a mechanical way out of it.
Everyone of us will deal with it our own way. There is no right way, because everyone's form of love are defined differently. The only advice that is dispensable is: Love, with your heart.
October 18, 2009
Perspective Entrapment
It seems as if my blog has lain dormant for an interminable period of time. I know no one is reading it, except my conscious awareness that someone may be reading it, or probably chanced upon it. I publicised it on my msn quite a long time ago, but sooner or later i took it off as it bore no meaning in doing so. It isn't a fan page or any public matter. It is just the humble insights into the private life of mine. The world of ruminations and deep thoughts circulating in the realm of my existence. So for these few months, 7 months to be exact, there was the inertia to blog, and partially the lack of time as well. I've got so many commitments for this semester.
But now i find the motivation to do so again, because i really hope to illuminate some of my thoughts. These thoughts have been residing in my head for quite long. As usual, some passing thoughts that i have dwelt upon.
Perspective Entrapment. What a bulky name i created to encapsulate the topic trapped in my poor little skull now. First, perspective. Perspectives are just different ways of viewing things in life. That is why we are all entitled to our own opinions. Different views by different people on the same matter. This is also the reason why surveys/questionnaires can yield substantial data. The way we think are different. And each way of thinking leads to inevitably dissimilar results. Good or bad, more often only evident to the individual concerned.
The take back i have often reminded myself is that one's perspective will change the attitude and way of treatment towards that particular subject matter. So, just like what Victor Frankl said in his interview, it is only the inflexibility of human minds to come out with a meaning for it that makes our current predicament the way it is. If we want to feel better, change your perspective. Start looking at things from a different angle. Start changing the way things can be viewed upon. Don't blame your narrow viewpoint. Don't think that things are always fixed. When they happen, they happen for a reason, find that particular viewpoint that will allow you to triumph and derive the maximum utility and satisfaction. Zoom in onto the essence of the matter. Obtain what is necessarily beneficial. Use it as a stepping stone.
Well, you may argue, i dont have a magic wand. It sounds very simple as u say.. tweak the perspective, change it to something which you can make sense of, something which is positive and allows you to have strength to carry on in life. Easier said than done. And exactly, this is topic which i am very interested to talk about in this post. Perspective Entrapment. How do you liberate yourself from any traps in perspectives?
I do not have the perfect answer, no antidote for you. But i have some opinions on these since it has been on my mind for a long period of time.
I suppose you will need to see clearly why you need the change, if the motivation is not compelling enough, you will continue to hold on to the undesirable perspective. Sometimes thinking about thinking is useful. Think of why you are thinking in this way. Our brain is like a maze. You have many routes to one common destination. Of the many routes, each of them will boast a different experience. Start to perceive yourself taking a particular route, which is your current perspective, and re-ponder about how this perspective have led you to how you feel about things, and the situation you are in. Relive this experience again. Do you like it?
Well of course since it is a maze, there are other possible routes. They are unexplored, but feasible. You would not know exactly where to turn next, what is the exact mapping to the right destination. But you need a change, and hence you are willing to venture to other paths, despite the fact that you would have to re-navigate to the final endpoint again. In this endeavour, the initial inertia has to be overcome, and you have to believe that this new trying is worthwhile.
If you cannot convince yourself to adopt a new viewpoint, or i.e. change a route, then dont force yourself to a new viewpoint. Stick to your current perspective. Try to repeat the first step of rehearsing your perspective again. We have to recognise that there is a choice in the way we think, because thinking is not like any device or object that can be replaced or altered by physical, chemical or mechanical changes. Its not like changing the tyres of a car to make it more road-worthy. Neither can the doctor surgically alter your thinking by operating on you. You have the full capability to change your viewpoint anytime. You are in charge.
The exact reason why you are in charge empowers you to hold yourself at ransom in life. You can limit yourself to unbelievably narrow and absurd perspectives that do more harm than good. So you need to first have a resolution to alter your viewpoint.
Well, the process of changing perspective is fraught with uncertainty, and lack of confidence. Self-esteem might get into the way for some cases. Our ego, as they say. The environment may sometimes prove too challenging to alter our perspectives. At times, the thought of changing might already erode the possibility of taking the first step. Well, this will not be an easy task. But nevertheless, it is a choice that will potentially extricate you out of a mental trap. A trap that minimises your life to haplessness.
It is never easy, for even I myself have been not able to overcome the first hurdle everytime. But I am trying to improve. To the others who may face the same dilemma as me, what do you think about this?
But now i find the motivation to do so again, because i really hope to illuminate some of my thoughts. These thoughts have been residing in my head for quite long. As usual, some passing thoughts that i have dwelt upon.
Perspective Entrapment. What a bulky name i created to encapsulate the topic trapped in my poor little skull now. First, perspective. Perspectives are just different ways of viewing things in life. That is why we are all entitled to our own opinions. Different views by different people on the same matter. This is also the reason why surveys/questionnaires can yield substantial data. The way we think are different. And each way of thinking leads to inevitably dissimilar results. Good or bad, more often only evident to the individual concerned.
The take back i have often reminded myself is that one's perspective will change the attitude and way of treatment towards that particular subject matter. So, just like what Victor Frankl said in his interview, it is only the inflexibility of human minds to come out with a meaning for it that makes our current predicament the way it is. If we want to feel better, change your perspective. Start looking at things from a different angle. Start changing the way things can be viewed upon. Don't blame your narrow viewpoint. Don't think that things are always fixed. When they happen, they happen for a reason, find that particular viewpoint that will allow you to triumph and derive the maximum utility and satisfaction. Zoom in onto the essence of the matter. Obtain what is necessarily beneficial. Use it as a stepping stone.
Well, you may argue, i dont have a magic wand. It sounds very simple as u say.. tweak the perspective, change it to something which you can make sense of, something which is positive and allows you to have strength to carry on in life. Easier said than done. And exactly, this is topic which i am very interested to talk about in this post. Perspective Entrapment. How do you liberate yourself from any traps in perspectives?
I do not have the perfect answer, no antidote for you. But i have some opinions on these since it has been on my mind for a long period of time.
I suppose you will need to see clearly why you need the change, if the motivation is not compelling enough, you will continue to hold on to the undesirable perspective. Sometimes thinking about thinking is useful. Think of why you are thinking in this way. Our brain is like a maze. You have many routes to one common destination. Of the many routes, each of them will boast a different experience. Start to perceive yourself taking a particular route, which is your current perspective, and re-ponder about how this perspective have led you to how you feel about things, and the situation you are in. Relive this experience again. Do you like it?
Well of course since it is a maze, there are other possible routes. They are unexplored, but feasible. You would not know exactly where to turn next, what is the exact mapping to the right destination. But you need a change, and hence you are willing to venture to other paths, despite the fact that you would have to re-navigate to the final endpoint again. In this endeavour, the initial inertia has to be overcome, and you have to believe that this new trying is worthwhile.
If you cannot convince yourself to adopt a new viewpoint, or i.e. change a route, then dont force yourself to a new viewpoint. Stick to your current perspective. Try to repeat the first step of rehearsing your perspective again. We have to recognise that there is a choice in the way we think, because thinking is not like any device or object that can be replaced or altered by physical, chemical or mechanical changes. Its not like changing the tyres of a car to make it more road-worthy. Neither can the doctor surgically alter your thinking by operating on you. You have the full capability to change your viewpoint anytime. You are in charge.
The exact reason why you are in charge empowers you to hold yourself at ransom in life. You can limit yourself to unbelievably narrow and absurd perspectives that do more harm than good. So you need to first have a resolution to alter your viewpoint.
Well, the process of changing perspective is fraught with uncertainty, and lack of confidence. Self-esteem might get into the way for some cases. Our ego, as they say. The environment may sometimes prove too challenging to alter our perspectives. At times, the thought of changing might already erode the possibility of taking the first step. Well, this will not be an easy task. But nevertheless, it is a choice that will potentially extricate you out of a mental trap. A trap that minimises your life to haplessness.
It is never easy, for even I myself have been not able to overcome the first hurdle everytime. But I am trying to improve. To the others who may face the same dilemma as me, what do you think about this?
March 14, 2009
Drenched
As the rain pour down the streets, your comfortable dry attire gets wet and soaked after a few seconds. That's the unpleasant feeling of being drenched, literally. Again, in this unique entry of mine, i like to explore other meanings of this word.
Drenched can imply being in a battered state, an emotional state where you feel despondent or highly negative. (well this is adapted from those dramas where you see the male or female plunges into despair in the pouring rain, unsheltered)
Well sometimes getting drenched can be devastating, especially when the outcome drastically deviates from one's expectations. It ushers in the shattering reality, which quickly and mercilessly sucks out the euphoria and/or nonchalance in one, allowing an emotional free fall. Different people experienced drenched states in different proportions, some more frequent than the others. It all depends on one's expectations as well as the coping ability of one's psyche.
Drenched, in my definition, has to encompass an event or circumstance which leads to the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is different from being overwhelmed by a heavy workload or schedule per se. Neither can it be gradual. It is necessarily swift and all-consuming. For e.g. the moment u saw an F grade for a module.
What leads me to ponder further is the prevention of such drenched states. Mental preparation certainly help to cushion the impact of drenching. But its effects are short term. Once reality sets in permanently, the more dreadful phenomenon plagues us - depression. We are left reeling in the after shock, to savour the bitterness of what is truly tormenting us. Maybe the more crucial question is then to ask how to deal with such states. When you plunge into a miserable abyss, how do you pull yourself out again?
There are invariably 2 ways. One which depends on an external factor, and the other an internal one - our own thoughts. Without dwelling much into the details of what exactly is external or internal, lets take an overview of the 2 ways. It leaves little dispute that an internally motivated recovery would see sustainable results as compared to an external remedy. Internal recovery usually takes a longer time than external ones, and therefore, depending on the exigencies of the situation, different resolutions are often seen employed. The passage of time allows for greater damage to be dealt, while certainly also introduces the risk of little or no recovery. The ability of one to self heal, though from a nature perspective is true, cannot be totally applied when human states are concerned. Hence the alternative of external help does help to catalyse the recuperative process.
I fancy the idea of internal healing, something which advocates an independent approach. Everything in this world obeys the law of conservation and equilibrium. Healing is a reversion to equilibrium. Internal healing is therefore a self-sufficient effort in returning back to the steady state. Just my personal bias, but definitely i do agree with having an external aid as long as the rewards of internal recovery are not undermined. I believe that the idea of a self effort is a process of growth. We learn when we climb back up on our own. We acknowledge our mistakes and make significant gains in the recovery process. Accelerating this process might hamper this educational experience. To trade off our time for this education might afterall be worthwhile as long as we adopt the right attitude.
Now,after saying so much, getting drenched just equals to an opportunity to learn from yourself directly. We are our own teachers. In fact, the best guiding mentors are always in us, except that we have often disregarded it.
As they always say, look within.
Drenched can imply being in a battered state, an emotional state where you feel despondent or highly negative. (well this is adapted from those dramas where you see the male or female plunges into despair in the pouring rain, unsheltered)
Well sometimes getting drenched can be devastating, especially when the outcome drastically deviates from one's expectations. It ushers in the shattering reality, which quickly and mercilessly sucks out the euphoria and/or nonchalance in one, allowing an emotional free fall. Different people experienced drenched states in different proportions, some more frequent than the others. It all depends on one's expectations as well as the coping ability of one's psyche.
Drenched, in my definition, has to encompass an event or circumstance which leads to the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is different from being overwhelmed by a heavy workload or schedule per se. Neither can it be gradual. It is necessarily swift and all-consuming. For e.g. the moment u saw an F grade for a module.
What leads me to ponder further is the prevention of such drenched states. Mental preparation certainly help to cushion the impact of drenching. But its effects are short term. Once reality sets in permanently, the more dreadful phenomenon plagues us - depression. We are left reeling in the after shock, to savour the bitterness of what is truly tormenting us. Maybe the more crucial question is then to ask how to deal with such states. When you plunge into a miserable abyss, how do you pull yourself out again?
There are invariably 2 ways. One which depends on an external factor, and the other an internal one - our own thoughts. Without dwelling much into the details of what exactly is external or internal, lets take an overview of the 2 ways. It leaves little dispute that an internally motivated recovery would see sustainable results as compared to an external remedy. Internal recovery usually takes a longer time than external ones, and therefore, depending on the exigencies of the situation, different resolutions are often seen employed. The passage of time allows for greater damage to be dealt, while certainly also introduces the risk of little or no recovery. The ability of one to self heal, though from a nature perspective is true, cannot be totally applied when human states are concerned. Hence the alternative of external help does help to catalyse the recuperative process.
I fancy the idea of internal healing, something which advocates an independent approach. Everything in this world obeys the law of conservation and equilibrium. Healing is a reversion to equilibrium. Internal healing is therefore a self-sufficient effort in returning back to the steady state. Just my personal bias, but definitely i do agree with having an external aid as long as the rewards of internal recovery are not undermined. I believe that the idea of a self effort is a process of growth. We learn when we climb back up on our own. We acknowledge our mistakes and make significant gains in the recovery process. Accelerating this process might hamper this educational experience. To trade off our time for this education might afterall be worthwhile as long as we adopt the right attitude.
Now,after saying so much, getting drenched just equals to an opportunity to learn from yourself directly. We are our own teachers. In fact, the best guiding mentors are always in us, except that we have often disregarded it.
As they always say, look within.
January 17, 2009
Time and Choice
Everyone will always have competing needs for his or her time. However, whatever lies in the minds or desires of one expands in front of him or her. That is why people have priorities, or set priorities to focus.
Alongside priorities would be disappointment. When you choose, you make decisions. When you make decisions, you select one or a few, and neglect the rest. When you reward, you are also punishing the rest. Basically when you focus on something, the other tasks, people and processes will be left out. Are you held accountable for those u unintentionally leave out? Is it even unintentional in the first place since you catered to you own preference and needs?
Individualism or collectivism? well, the reason that both are ends of a spectrum speaks volumes of itself being a continuum. So, in a somewhat similar fashion, with regards to the answer to questions in the above para, whether you are accountable or not, its not important. The crux of the issue is the extent! Are you overly individualistic, or too self sacrificing?
This question will depend on the social context, as well as individuals character and personality. There is no right or wrong, for ultimately, it's a choice.
And if you had paid attention, making a choice necessarily means neglecting the rest.
Am i uttering rubbish?
Your choice :)
What a way to kick start the year, lol!
Alongside priorities would be disappointment. When you choose, you make decisions. When you make decisions, you select one or a few, and neglect the rest. When you reward, you are also punishing the rest. Basically when you focus on something, the other tasks, people and processes will be left out. Are you held accountable for those u unintentionally leave out? Is it even unintentional in the first place since you catered to you own preference and needs?
Individualism or collectivism? well, the reason that both are ends of a spectrum speaks volumes of itself being a continuum. So, in a somewhat similar fashion, with regards to the answer to questions in the above para, whether you are accountable or not, its not important. The crux of the issue is the extent! Are you overly individualistic, or too self sacrificing?
This question will depend on the social context, as well as individuals character and personality. There is no right or wrong, for ultimately, it's a choice.
And if you had paid attention, making a choice necessarily means neglecting the rest.
Am i uttering rubbish?
Your choice :)
What a way to kick start the year, lol!
December 12, 2008
幸福的回音
幸福到底是怎样的玩意儿？是一种感觉吗？还是一种象征？其实幸福时时刻刻都与我们为伴，只是不知足的我们似乎视而不见。幸福在于每天能够活得自在，能够把周边的事务变得更美好。幸福在于有改变的权利，有掌握生命的动力。
在这段学期里，我更深一层地了解自己，自己的情感模式，性格，人生的另一面。除了课务繁忙，我渐渐体会到了要怎样平衡处理我种种的事务，虽然还不能算有条不紊，但下个学期，我一定要做的更好。
爱 一个人才是真正的幸福，被爱往往不能长久。说到爱，我做了认真的思考，也的了小小的结论。爱是一种使命，是抽象的。它是责任，是一个伟大任务，胜于亲密， 关心，谅解，容忍，和睦，开心，etc. 爱是漏印在双方心中的同一个梦想，奥妙无比。亲密，关心，谅解，容忍，和睦，开心，etc 只是桥梁，虽不是爱本身，但也扮演着举足轻重的角色.
爱也是一种挑战，越艰辛，越有意义（当然前提是双方能克服）。它是个长久的拉锯战，你不能说停，也难以说放弃（除非你无心）。它的果实是甜的，但绝非让你非常满足到底。丝丝的满足感，提供你微妙的力量。你不能要求太多，因为多反而不一定是好。唯有用心感应，不言而喻 :)
This indeed is one of my rare posts in chinese. It took me some time to churn it out. My chinese has indeed gone rusty. Anw, holidays are getting on real fast, and christmas is coming, signaling the impending commencement of the next sem! But before that there will be results. Keeping my fingers crossed :)
在这段学期里，我更深一层地了解自己，自己的情感模式，性格，人生的另一面。除了课务繁忙，我渐渐体会到了要怎样平衡处理我种种的事务，虽然还不能算有条不紊，但下个学期，我一定要做的更好。
爱 一个人才是真正的幸福，被爱往往不能长久。说到爱，我做了认真的思考，也的了小小的结论。爱是一种使命，是抽象的。它是责任，是一个伟大任务，胜于亲密， 关心，谅解，容忍，和睦，开心，etc. 爱是漏印在双方心中的同一个梦想，奥妙无比。亲密，关心，谅解，容忍，和睦，开心，etc 只是桥梁，虽不是爱本身，但也扮演着举足轻重的角色.
爱也是一种挑战，越艰辛，越有意义（当然前提是双方能克服）。它是个长久的拉锯战，你不能说停，也难以说放弃（除非你无心）。它的果实是甜的，但绝非让你非常满足到底。丝丝的满足感，提供你微妙的力量。你不能要求太多，因为多反而不一定是好。唯有用心感应，不言而喻 :)
This indeed is one of my rare posts in chinese. It took me some time to churn it out. My chinese has indeed gone rusty. Anw, holidays are getting on real fast, and christmas is coming, signaling the impending commencement of the next sem! But before that there will be results. Keeping my fingers crossed :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)