OPT-imistic

Optimism has been studied as an internal trait by the many self-help movements, pop psychology. And even among the emerging field of positive psychology, Dr. Martin Seligman has conducted extensive studies and experiments with optimism, publishing many books. One of it, Learned Optimism, reveals that optimism can be cultivated, but often have to be tempered with realism. Being overly optimistic, or constantly optimistic maybe be detrimental to us when it shifts us off tangent with the reality in life and perpetuate the 'things will be fine' mentality.

After reading a fair bit on optimism, i hope i can express some of what i feel being optimistic helps in our lives, and how we can strive towards being optimistic. Is it an option? Can we OPT into it? Recently i encountered a question from a good friend whose words seem to highlight to me the fact it is just human to be pondering about these matters.. matters that are very significant and yet we do not have ready answers for them. Maybe they are subjective, intangible. Maybe people do not realise that there need to be answers to these questions. Just like someone who questions about the existential issues - What is the purpose of life? Not everyone asks these questions all the time, while perhaps they do it at different stages of their life. So the question goes:

你说， 人，怎么才能天天能保持一个良好的心态，消除烦恼，保证几乎每天都积极乐观? 甭管是华人，洋人，还是火星人，那个积极乐观的心态究竟去哪里寻找？

This question asks about finding optimism in each and everyone of us. Where do we find them in face of all the ups and downs in life? Are people born with it?

Before i answer this question, let me first make a few disclaimers: that i am not a professional authority in this area (though i think there wouldn't be anyone who can claim to hold the right answer). So in this case just give what i mentioned a good thought, see if it makes sense to you, and take it with a pinch of salt if it doesn't :)

I believe my answers will not come as surprising or revolutionary to you, because they may be insights which you may arrive at after some thinking. But i first have to have you agree with me that being optimistic is a state of mind which we acknowledge its benefits, and our focus is where do we find this?

It is easy to say that the answer lies IN us. These statements are very generalistic, but not in any aspect less true. In fact, its usually the summary statement that we tell everyone. 'You Hold the Key'. Its all in your mind. Very familiar aspects in the humanistic psychology. Being optimistic is like having an inclination towards something. Its taking a perceived stance on the world around you. And so, as things happen always for a reason, does your optimistic thoughts possess an discerning origin? In simple layman words, does it have a reason to exist?

Indeed, i believe that optimistic thoughts rise from certain learned experiences and incidents that happened in our life. Thats one of the more widespread sources of optimism. As the word learned optimism seem to suggest, we learn all the time, be it from our own experiences, or that of observational learning. Experiences that left a greater impression on us, especially when we were younger, left an indelible mark on us which shaped our thoughts today. We too learn from our recent experiences, but as cognitive and discerning individuals as we grow older, our mind processes our experiences in a more astute and complicated way. So when we come into contact with the world everyday, our mind surfaces these predispositions that were ingrained in us over the years. But, of course all these can be changed.

Thats not a convincing source of optimism, isn't it? It seems to be a passive source, not an active source. Where can we FIND? Telling someone to find something in his or her own pocket does not really answer the question quite appropriately isn't it? (assuming that of course he checked his own pockets before). Then where should we DISCOVER?

Allow me to bring in analogies.

Optimism is like a well. There can be endless supplies of it, but u have to know where the source is. Just like digging for metals, they do not always exists as their pure metal. They exists as unrefined ores, or composite materials. Optimism is often embedded, and disguised in other forms. They not only need to be uncovered, they need to be actively refined and tapped into. One of these sources lies in appreciation in life.

One of my favourite quotes - appreciate your life, and your life will appreciate. Appreciation ignites a source of strength and motivation by paying gratitude to what you already own, achieved, or are in control. It reminds you not to discount your own potential, most importantly your potential to make a change or impact in your own life. You've come thus far through whatever means you have to your current state (whether or not you love your current status, it has nothing to do with your reality). Again i cannot over-emphasize this - whether you are or not satisfied with who you are, where you come from, and what you have achieved so far, it is only a comparative evaluation of our expectations and the reality. You can appreciate that you have achieved nothing. You can appreciate that you have been the last of the cohort. You can basically appreciate anything. Key is you must know how to appreciate. You must know how to take perspective. And that in it requires humbleness, and a heart to accept diversity in this world.

When you can appreciate, you will realise the vast territories of hope. You will acknowledge the expansive unchartered waters that give you plenty of room to grow. You will discover how wonderful a self-empowering opportunity you have been given to be in the current state of reality you are in. Optimism fills you because you have not precluded yourself to the land of possibilities.

Thats the essense of it. Whether you look at optimism as another chance you give to yourself, or the never-say-die attitude that see you persevere on, you'll be sure to know that optimism never comes easy. To be optimistic in face of a mismatch between your actual and perceived reality requires strength and courage. Your courage to belief. Thats another important source.

We all have aims and goals don't we? They need not be that lofty, they can be mundane like finishing my assignment by today, or passing my driving test the next time i take it. Take the latter as an example. We know that we have been practising all day for our driving test. Going up the ramp million times, reverse into those parking lots as if we had all the time in the world to do that, and driving the car as if we had own them. But you know, not all of us are talented in driving. Some are quite clumsy, not used to it etc. No one knows how to drive the car the moment he is born. The issue here is do we belief in ourselves that we will eventually be able to overcome all obstacles and excel in it? In other words, are we willing to belief? How you talk to yourself plays a big role in it. If you've had a pessimistic explanatory style towards your every little glitch in your driving performance, i bet you'd probably just feel like not touching the steering wheel again. But if you want to pass driving very badly, and are so motivated to drive a car, you'd probably tell yourself that you can surely pass it. Self-belief is raised. Self-efficacy is raised. And with this courage to belief, your worldview tends to be altered towards possibility and excellence. Failure is no excuse, failure is temporal. You will make it. Of course, the courage can be spurred on by a host of reasons which will be personal to you. You have to find them, you have to know what makes you tick.

In conclusion, optimism can be opted into, and is an active endeavour that each and every of us are entitled to participate. Conditioning oneself to be sufficiently optimistic will undoubtedly provide a strong impetus in what we do, or aim to do, which will be instrumental in creating a good quality of life.