I just googled the title and came across this very interesting yet philosophical entry. Its in chinese. There wasn't any author to it. In traditional chinese though :P Its here.
Quoting the last paragraph so beautifully and meaninfully expressed,
众里寻他千百度﹐幕然回首﹐那人卻在燈火闌珊處。喜歡，就是淡淡的愛；愛，就是深深的喜歡。人不會因為获得許多愛而觉得人生有意義，卻會因為付出許多愛而越肯定生命的价值。魚說：你看不見我的泪水，因為我在水中....水說：我能感觉到妳的泪，只因妳在我的心中....
Very poetic and an apt description.
Ok, on a lighter note, this christmas. On the contrary to the past, i only went to carol with VJ at Ritz Carlton on Christmas eve. It was under the generous accompaniment of eugene and calvin. Many people would have asked me why not carol with vc. And why only carol one time? Missing out on the grand reunion?
I will dish out my answers for those who want to know it. Here you go. Discounting all my whims and fancies which would definitely provide you a cheap and inexcusable explanation, i want you to understand that the reason transcends that. Its about the meaning of christmas to me. I feel that caroling should not be done excessively. As i say again, its my opinion, so you can fathom for all you like, and yet return dazzled and frustrated. Too bad. Why? Because christmas should be joyful and meaningful, and to me, to be honest, caroling has lost its original beauty. The season is indeed one to rejoice, but not by caroling incessantly. Once, or twice, is enough for me. To get immersed in that merry making moment or u could say magical moment just for that half or 1 hour suffice for me. now why not with vc as many would have asked. let me give u some clues. attachment, feeling, togetherness. Ok i guess that would have answered it. Next up, why no grand reunion? At first wanted to hear, not to sing. But i concluded that there was no point to face the mass of singers anymore since what i want is neither the festive mood nor the nice carols. Been there done that. The only reason i tried giving myself to sing was the dedication. But again, dedication to something whose worth is diminishing? What do i get out from it? the joy of singing? Pls, i already got that through caroling on the eve, and through all i got from 6 years of choral life. I dont want to explain any further. maybe i dont even need to in the first place. But it is something in my heart which should be vented out.
Ok besides that, the last week of the year is a gd time for reflection and thoughts. I didnt had much time to do that, but as for now i do have some thoughts. I had an aim last year around this time. It was to stay out of my comfort zone and explore new areas of my life. Well, looking back, i wouldnt say it is a failure, but just lacking lustre. Insignificant achievements, and i have still been living in that day to day mentality. Goals are rarely long term, short term goals short of a handful as well. I have been very reactive to people's demands. So i guess i would grade it like a 3/10.
But yet there are things which i have gained this year. Some wonderful friends, valuable relationships, and progress in the way i view things. I admit my weakness is still pretty much there, but quoting the counsellor Hanna, she said that a weakness is an overfunctioned strength. Well, everything is just the balance isnt it?
All emotions are acceptable. Do not be excessively worked up or feel depressed/bad for what you are feeling now. Everything happened for a reason. Just like everything has its pros and cons, every crisis has its takeaways. The hardest task a rational human has is managing his irrational emotions. Emotions are like bountiful surges of energy, active, explosive, and unadulterated. Give them space, and they'll engulf you, manage them, and they'll work so nicely for you. I admit that with regards to the above, i'm just like the rational man trying to manage my emotions which are in a disarray at times. But thats where challenges seem to surface, and avenues of courage lurk so closely ever to u. Cherish these opportunities to triumph, to grow and to be free. They dont guarantee that u dont fall again, on the contrary, they muse at the crisis that comes along again. They love to see u coming back on your feet, and have confidence in you doing so. Everytime you do so, ur energy level is raised, and the more you are emboldened and live life to the fullest. People say that obstacles are opportunities in disguise, but i say why the disguise? Must everything that hurt be bad? Must anything that fails be faulty?
The caudron of emotions boiling inside us will never cease, just like how raging fires are hard to totally extinguish. They come and go again, and there's no uprooting it because emotions are part of humans, to ignore it is simply hiding in the closet when danger approaches. No matter how hot the caudron is, we must possess the ability to chill our body, no matter how adverse the conditions are, we must be able to weather it. Let not the temporary stress batter us, for the strength that is needed to pluck us up lies in where it is hard hit, where it is the most painful. It may hurt, it may bleed, but it will heal, and it will thrive. We got to believe in it. No matter how traumatic you will feel, life moves on, and yet another problem comes bugging you.
I hope through the above writing i am able to inspire myself, and people who feel likewise. i dont know why am i comforting myself, but yet it always does happen. How much i actually learn from my own placating is yet another story. But for now, i feel better, and i hope you all do.
All is not gone. What appears lost is not.
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