Positive Thinking

Positive thinking permeates lives of those whom have been optimistic. Some people have reminded themselves to be positive, at the very least. It is not uncommon that when we encounter unpleasant incidents or emotional setbacks, we realign our thinking such that any negative aura is dispelled, promising ourselves a brighter outlook of the future.

I believe positive thinking might sometimes be held accountable for self delusion, because the person who prefers to acquire these positive views simply use them as an excuse to elude the reality.

It seems that the power of positive thinking is magnified to its greatest potential when it is appropriately employed. It can have disastrous effects for someone who perfunctorily engages in it to assure himself a better future while discounting the reality, while on the contrary it can be immensely beneficial for those who acknowledge the present.

To further elaborate the difference in Postive Thinking in the former and latter contexts, Positive thinking in the latter context offers added source of motivation as it transform the undesired present to an realistic and promising future. In its former context (the disastrous one), the unpalatable present merely gives way to an imaginary optimistic future. Realise that the present image is just cast aside and not eradicated. That is why people adopting the latter thinking might suffer "relapses" of the poor present, and they might find themselves stagnating at the current situation for long periods although they visualise something positive. Moving on from a setback warrants more than any form of contemplation of the "better future", an essential factor is its connectivity to the realistic present.

Oops, i think i have overwritten on a topic which might have been a simply and easy motivational tool to many. Positive thinking is actually a neutral tool, like many things in this world. Humans hold the right to empower their thoughts, responses, behaviours, habits, expressions and of course their actions! The basis of our behaviour is our conception of the world.

That is why we need positive influence. We need exposure to the desirable environment we are in. Because such humans are extremely receptive to influence. Its our choice to surround ourselves with good/bad influence.

Negatively Negative

[Warning: Pessimism Ahead. Do not read any further if you are already so dull and low-spirited]

树欲静而风不止，子欲养时亲不待

I feel a dramatic sense of overwhelming inability to effect the things i desire for. Maybe its the EQ, maybe its the IQ. Some things just cant be put right in my life. I feel that i'm leading a superficial life everyday. I work to live, and i live to work. In NS. Sometimes the environment plays an important part in influencing the individual. I envy my undeviated focus on academics two years back.. not for the sheer amount which has to be studied, but for the tenacity of the mugging spirit. Maybe a person always in seek of challenges create opportunities for himself to learn and improve. I person who immerses himself in a correct environment can maximise his potential, just like a seedling place in a fertile culture. And this culture must also be aseptic of course. Now the culture i'm in has the wrong nutrients and growth promoters. They have contaminants and catalytic poisoners. And i cant believe these terms actually still exist in my mind. I often feel this dearth of direction now especially when serving my NS.

I remembered vividly two years back before i enlisted i envisioned NS as a period of self enrichment and self reflection. I had a couple of goals.. Learn driving, to attend vocal lessons, and a couple of more subtle ones. Well, as u can see now, i passed my driving, dithered on attending vocal lessons, and i can tell u that the other subtle aims arent deservingly given conscientious attention.

Dying to accomplishment in life doesnt lead u through all ur journey to achieve it. I think motivation plays an integral part. Frequent visualisations of personal success, coupled with internal motivation, provides the fuel that is requisite to keep the flame alive and burning. Is the flame that is left burning useful? does it lead the way or only provide warmth to us? Lighting a candle in a breezy environment takes skill. Shield it from the wind,hold it close to us. Maintain the flame warrants greater effort.

The baseline is, can we first find a flame, located in a corner of this world where its glow is valuable, sustain and endear with it without regrets?

Time and Tide wait for no one

Yesterday was SOV 2007, the third sov i have performed in 4 years. This time round, it was in the capacity of a guest choir, the victoria chorale. I felt very different on stage. From the moment i opened my mouth to sing for the rehearsal, i feel as if i was singing solo. Maybe thats the acoustics of the esplanade concert hall. Reminiscence of the good old times. I'm contented to be in chorale, although my ailing voice has not done enough to resurrect my dignity as a chorale singer. U know people always think chorale is like "perfect", and here i am, trying to conceal my underperforming voice beneath the shield of grand, mature, solid and powerful sound. People around me do not believe that my voice is that bad, but being the instrument myself- my voice, it is really hard to withdraw any self-reproach, let alone any inferiority complex. But maybe the joy of singing doesnt lies in the perfect all-rounded sound, maybe not the broadness, depth, bright, focus or even resonating for that matter. It's probably something less superficial, the heart. Unwavering committment to chorale practices had only proved a point - that it was my passion for choral music. The good thing is that the environment isnt at all unpleasant. Everyone there is receptive and reasonably warm, we are all there to learn.

Ok so now back to my topic. I took two consecutive tuesdays off for SYF and SOV. Both for choral music. And i would say it was time well spent. SYF: i'd always love to hear competitive singing, as it forces the choir to bring out the flavour of the music. Some choirs do it naturally because they are more conscious of the need to do so, while so poorer choirs try to imitate the musicality in an unnatural manner. Hearing the myriad of repertoire that day, besides enjoying the music, i am very happy to have people to accompany me on that off day :) Despite the slight dampening of mood due to RJ's results, my spirits remain generally high. It was such exuberance that makes it so memorable. I felt quite sianz the next day when i went to work lor.

As for SOV, chorale's stage time wasnt long, in total probably less than 15 minutes. But the highlight was no man. It was simply great. I believe no man bolds a different meaning to each and everyone of the members up there singing. We all find something we have in common together, and encapsulate it in this solemn and sentimental melody. For those who really cherish that pinnacle moment of their lives, it really can mean alot to stand up on stage for that two minutes or so. Well, before SOV i caught spiderman3 with calvin. well, 7 dollars worth of our time is indeed well spent. For the thrill and its meaning of life. Ok i will stop short of being another spiderman3 commentator for now. Judging by being one of the last few throngs of crowds to watch the movie, i shall leave the reputation of spiderman to stand for itself.

Time and tide wait for no one indeed. While i was absent, some events happened in camp, well not really pleasant ones, especially on my SOV day yesterday. Due to the sensitivities of the issue, i shall not write it here. But whatever it is, life is gonna change, not alot, but definitely not leaving me very happy either.

思念

一种难以言喻的感觉涌入心头
一股强烈的热流冲昏了理智
每时每刻,不论昼夜
都带着不由自主的牵挂
一幕幕的思绪总在我脑海里盘旋
你竟是如此的难以忘怀
你的世界里洋溢着喜悦
充满着生命力
我不懈的期盼
耐心的寻觅
一股奇迹般的勇气
一股充满热情与真诚的微笑
可我心中一筹莫展
只留下了遗憾和辛酸
但愿相伴近在咫尺
温馨的相会尽在不言中.

NSF

This is a very familiar word to all. It leaves indelible memories to some, trauma to others. It bears different imprints on the minds of teenagers. People have different thoughts and feelings about how they are actually living through their NS lives now, which is largely deterministic in their opinions about this compulsory tour of their lives.

The dreadful NS life is taking its toll on me, precisely because i've found no motivation to do the work in front of me, even when i should be doing right now because i'm on duty. Its like a freaking labour day and i'm fated to slog it out here in what u think is such a physically comfortable air conditioned environment. In contrary, it is so stuffy. The air is stale, the mood is stagnant, the work is dead. No pride in our work? How to benchmark pride in the first place? Pride to one might be shame to others. Duties aren't exactly that bad as compared to the normal daily work already, as there are much lesser people to look over us. There have been certain subtle shades of us being part of some national slavery force. I look upon this two years as something which i had hoped initially to gain something out of it. No doubt, i had learnt alot. But i feel that i'm still somehow detached to the outside world. I feel like as if i should not be doing what i am supposed to do now. Someone has imprisoned me in a cage for 2 years.

Oops, ok..i might have just indulged in a few minutes of my self pity. I tend to feel it once in a while, especially with like 188 days more to ORD. Pardon me. I have been diverting my attention to my non-NS life, like chorale and friend outings. I think ultimately the way to move on is to continue to add variety to my monotonous routine. Stagnancy is indeed the greatest evil of all! Let me move on now..