Pressure and Stress are two words which can really make or break your life. They are fundamentally different terms in my opinion. Pressure refers to a compulsive external influence, while stress refers to a bulging internal influence. From my definition, it is sure that pressure comes from the environment, while stress comes from our innerself. We cant control the environment we live in, but yet we can presumably control ourselves. But yet why do some people live in depression, over- anxiety and even go nuts when they get over stressed? The link should lie in between- we cant control how the environmental pressure affects our inner state. It has something to do with expectations and perception.
So pressure exerted by the environment induces a certain amount of self induced tension, which is called stress. And because we cant exactly rein in the mechanism of controlling the stress induced as a result of external pressure, destress seems to be the only recourse.
So there are two groups of people: One that mitigates the consequences of stress, the other group concentrating on gaining better control of the link btw pressure and stress. In my opinion, 80 percent engage in the former, with only 20 percent the latter. This is because the latter is tedious, arduous, and often unrewarding for the start. Its not even an uphill battle. Its like jumping from one cliff to another. Make or Break. So therefore we choose the former. Its easier to manage, and often goes with the flow of life.
But maybe its real time to shift our focus on getting our expections on track. Knowing the key to set rationale expectations will pay well for our future. We will better manage our perceptions, and fortify our inner state against pressures from the external environment. We place our selves right smack in the middle of pressure and stress, acting as filter. I would say that would be the idea state. And in such an effective isolation, it is then undisputable that we have really triumph in living a life for ourselves, pursuing whatever we like without the slightest mental barrier, overcoming adversities without feeling excessively drained.
But many people have already fell off the cliff. So are u willing to gamble?
January 30, 2007
January 20, 2007
The Limit
Is Sky really the limit? Or are we the limit of our dreams? Much can be said about limits. I overpushed my limit in sispec, therefore i was injured. I didnt know my limit, thats why i wasn't sure of an impending injury.
At first i didnt want to dwell over the matter of my injury again, but i felt many things we do in life, even as in blogging, there is really a real limit and a perceived limit. Not trying to be mathematical, but as the perceived limit overshots the real limit, the balance would be overturned, unleashing a pandora box of unending worries.
I hate to say that in life, we always set limits, just as we might have set targets. The more ambitious we are, the greater tendency we have to stumble. And upon sensing that we might have reached our limit, we resort to initiate a complete change. Thats the normal path. But being in the shoes of this path would certainly allow u to recognise that one is like turning upon hitting a stone. i.e. we dont really have an accurate benchmark as to where we execute a retreat. And the baseline of all - thats only our perceived limit. In many circumstances, our perceived limits are unaligned with the real limits.
I was sick recently, yet again due to the miscalculation that i thought i wouldnt have fell ill. I was already feeling ill on my duty night, and to exacerbate the situation, it was an overnight duty. The next morning i went home i rested, but it was never enough. Plus a few days of insufficient sleep thereafter, it culminated in this terrible streak of illness.
So being able to grasp the limit, knowing when to steer out of dangerous traps is vital for survival. It is the accumulation of experience that grants us greater acumen in our judgement of the Limit.
At first i didnt want to dwell over the matter of my injury again, but i felt many things we do in life, even as in blogging, there is really a real limit and a perceived limit. Not trying to be mathematical, but as the perceived limit overshots the real limit, the balance would be overturned, unleashing a pandora box of unending worries.
I hate to say that in life, we always set limits, just as we might have set targets. The more ambitious we are, the greater tendency we have to stumble. And upon sensing that we might have reached our limit, we resort to initiate a complete change. Thats the normal path. But being in the shoes of this path would certainly allow u to recognise that one is like turning upon hitting a stone. i.e. we dont really have an accurate benchmark as to where we execute a retreat. And the baseline of all - thats only our perceived limit. In many circumstances, our perceived limits are unaligned with the real limits.
I was sick recently, yet again due to the miscalculation that i thought i wouldnt have fell ill. I was already feeling ill on my duty night, and to exacerbate the situation, it was an overnight duty. The next morning i went home i rested, but it was never enough. Plus a few days of insufficient sleep thereafter, it culminated in this terrible streak of illness.
So being able to grasp the limit, knowing when to steer out of dangerous traps is vital for survival. It is the accumulation of experience that grants us greater acumen in our judgement of the Limit.
January 11, 2007
Parallel Existence, Differentiated Paths
The argument over nature or nurture remains unabated, with different interpretations unleashing several schools of thoughts. Is a newly born infant a blank slate? or is it tainted by nature? Can clones behave differently? We know identical twins dont really.. Why am i posting about this?
There was once i googled my full name: "ong chin leng". Definitely many entries. I was piqued by the results, and went through 10 pages of the search. What took me aback wasn't the fact that there were quite a number of "chin leng" around. Neither was that there were two matches with the identical name as mine - ong chin leng. I was rather amazed by the many other identical "ong chin leng" could possibly exist in this world, virtually unreported. Many of them obviously didnt made it to the google headlines. Including mine. Of course that depends on the availability of modern communication in places they live in, but for those who made it to the net, it speaks volumes of efforts that these people, or institutions, which try to advertise and convey their interests in making themselves or their customers known.
The first clone of mine was this award winner in NUS. He got an award in doing research regarding electrophoresis. Awesome indeed! I was impressed upon the revelelation. Oh well, then i continued browsing... Guess who is the next person? A hawker who successfully tendered a stall at Toa Payoh area. Not that its inferior, i was just stunned. Again of course that website was a government website, not a personal one. Both are local websites.
Parallel existence indeed. But totally different walks of life. People around them conjure images of "chin leng". People socialising with the NUS achiever would definitely have a different impression than others knowing the hawker named chin leng. Another unpublished chin leng probably exists in some other part of the world. But what i have derived from this small episode is the extent of being conscious of how people view us.
Some are very concerned that others view themselves in a negative way. A few dont want others to construe certain traits of themselves, e.g. selfish, inconsiderate, boot-licker, etc.. Also there is another group who are over conscious, i.e their behaviour and actions therefore revolve around the aim of preventing such unpleasant impressions to be tagged onto them. Indeed all of us may not totally fall into the last category, but we exhibit tinges of such traits here and there in our daily lives. It is often inevitable because it is the workings of our sub conscious. But to allow further degeneration of these thoughts into generalisations and skewed perceptions is to endanger our mental state, hypnotizing our spirits unnecessarily.
There is just this thin, almost undiscernable boundary which separates the two extreme forms of self awareness. The way we are brought up and the environment we live in definitely plays a part in determining our predisposition. Yes, both nature and nurture. We would have to best manage our own expections towards a perceived image of ourself so that we will always lead a balance and fulfilling life.
Only in such a manner our paths in life would be undeviated and uninhibited.
There was once i googled my full name: "ong chin leng". Definitely many entries. I was piqued by the results, and went through 10 pages of the search. What took me aback wasn't the fact that there were quite a number of "chin leng" around. Neither was that there were two matches with the identical name as mine - ong chin leng. I was rather amazed by the many other identical "ong chin leng" could possibly exist in this world, virtually unreported. Many of them obviously didnt made it to the google headlines. Including mine. Of course that depends on the availability of modern communication in places they live in, but for those who made it to the net, it speaks volumes of efforts that these people, or institutions, which try to advertise and convey their interests in making themselves or their customers known.
The first clone of mine was this award winner in NUS. He got an award in doing research regarding electrophoresis. Awesome indeed! I was impressed upon the revelelation. Oh well, then i continued browsing... Guess who is the next person? A hawker who successfully tendered a stall at Toa Payoh area. Not that its inferior, i was just stunned. Again of course that website was a government website, not a personal one. Both are local websites.
Parallel existence indeed. But totally different walks of life. People around them conjure images of "chin leng". People socialising with the NUS achiever would definitely have a different impression than others knowing the hawker named chin leng. Another unpublished chin leng probably exists in some other part of the world. But what i have derived from this small episode is the extent of being conscious of how people view us.
Some are very concerned that others view themselves in a negative way. A few dont want others to construe certain traits of themselves, e.g. selfish, inconsiderate, boot-licker, etc.. Also there is another group who are over conscious, i.e their behaviour and actions therefore revolve around the aim of preventing such unpleasant impressions to be tagged onto them. Indeed all of us may not totally fall into the last category, but we exhibit tinges of such traits here and there in our daily lives. It is often inevitable because it is the workings of our sub conscious. But to allow further degeneration of these thoughts into generalisations and skewed perceptions is to endanger our mental state, hypnotizing our spirits unnecessarily.
There is just this thin, almost undiscernable boundary which separates the two extreme forms of self awareness. The way we are brought up and the environment we live in definitely plays a part in determining our predisposition. Yes, both nature and nurture. We would have to best manage our own expections towards a perceived image of ourself so that we will always lead a balance and fulfilling life.
Only in such a manner our paths in life would be undeviated and uninhibited.
January 02, 2007
Lesson # 1 - Expectations: A Window To Our Emotions
Sound fast yeah? Just sounded like i had a bad experience or sth... In fact u could say it was an unexpected outcome positively taken. Actually our lives are always full of "oh yars" and "i got it", or even subtle indications for changes. There is a triggering event for these responses, albeit they may be both pleasant and unpleasant ones. But its ok, it isnt always sundays, and things naturally do not always proceed as planned .We need to embrace surprises, be prepared for adaptations towards changes. Natural selection - survival of the fittest.
I've came to conclude that what essentially governs our emotions are our expectations. Generally, the greater the dissimilarity in what we hope to achieve and what we have, the more agitated and unstable our emotions are. By quelling any upsurge of emotions isnt the remedy for such misguided problem. By altering our expections, we would slowly initiate the rehabilitative process, but i would like to underscore the fact that altering doesnt mean lowering. Varying would be better i shld say. Learning to seek solace in subjects which we try to derive greater meaning in life, not purely as a respite from the reality.
So what is expectation then? To me, i define it as the extent of acknowledgement of our self worth. And to measure the extent, we have an inner benchmark. This benchmark must never be only compared against yourself, for although many ppl would like to say that by triumphing ourself its sufficient, i would say what if u think u are good, but in fact u are like the last in this world, wouldn't ur ego plunge to the bottom at the very next instant. So lets get realistic, we do need to weigh ourselves against something. But what is that something? Thats where it is crucial. You grade yourself against that something which must be conceivable, achievable, and most of all, somthing which u gradually acquired confidence in it. By setting this benchmark, i am definitely precluding any arguments for setting easy expectations. Of course if u are one which is highly pacified, it just means that u've set a wrong comparison. To yourself its right, but for your own good it may not be that correct. We must always expect a persevering process in order to achieve our expectations, so do take this as a guide when u set expectations. In summary, it must be an expectation within reach, not out of reach or easily in reach!
There is yet another problem. Some people are just stubborn to alter their expectations. So why are many resistant to change? Because we were all along unchanged. We were all along in this unshaken comfort zone of ours, only expecting everything to be going on the way we want. We have been untouched, left undisturbed, and have developed immense inertia for change. We havent experience change, and cant really conceive change. That is why we are still deep rooted in our abyss of misery, allowing the uncontrolled roller coaster of emotions to manipulate our lives, which i think is quite a sad thing. I dont mean to insult people with sensations, nor the least critisize people who are slightly over sensitive, but i mean people who are displaying unnecessary sentiments and tendencies as a result of tainted expectations.
So what relevance has it lent to my life? I have fine tuned my perspectives of "outings", meaning just any kind of gathering, class outing etc. Have u experience outings whereby all activities are well planned, i.e. movie, then lunch, then followed by another activity, all so well organised? It's definitely fulfilling in this instance. But have u also turned out for an outing when all goes unprepared, i.e. we meet for movie or sth for instance, but in the end some disappointment ensue, so what follows is just hanging around, talking, sitting down for hours chatting. What would a person with flambuoyant expectations feel? How would he respond? If u are so unused to it, i bet u would feel horrible and terribly unaccomplished. But if u were composed enough to rein control of your emotions, take a step back, and question the purpose of outings, you would probably remind yourself that it isnt the materialistic comfort that underpins any great outing, spiritual fulfilment does depict the true value too. Of course this depends on the expectations and perspectives of your other mates involved in the gathering too, thats why i mentioned above that we should not only benchmark against ourselves.
I'm glad that i have friends who are just contented with having friends just like myself, enjoying what people may define as "shabby" outings in an ungrudging manner. U wont know it unless such outings occur, for what u have been used to are extravagant, or maybe at least a decently planned scheduled outing. This episode initiated a change in my expectations.
"It is when we contend with ridiculously simple engagement with a bunch of people where seeds of friendship are sown, and not in the eventful facade of indulgement"
If u can sit still with a friend for a few hours chatting and leave as happy as u once were, and dont mind doing so, that probably epitomises one of the many valuable aspects of friendship.
I've came to conclude that what essentially governs our emotions are our expectations. Generally, the greater the dissimilarity in what we hope to achieve and what we have, the more agitated and unstable our emotions are. By quelling any upsurge of emotions isnt the remedy for such misguided problem. By altering our expections, we would slowly initiate the rehabilitative process, but i would like to underscore the fact that altering doesnt mean lowering. Varying would be better i shld say. Learning to seek solace in subjects which we try to derive greater meaning in life, not purely as a respite from the reality.
So what is expectation then? To me, i define it as the extent of acknowledgement of our self worth. And to measure the extent, we have an inner benchmark. This benchmark must never be only compared against yourself, for although many ppl would like to say that by triumphing ourself its sufficient, i would say what if u think u are good, but in fact u are like the last in this world, wouldn't ur ego plunge to the bottom at the very next instant. So lets get realistic, we do need to weigh ourselves against something. But what is that something? Thats where it is crucial. You grade yourself against that something which must be conceivable, achievable, and most of all, somthing which u gradually acquired confidence in it. By setting this benchmark, i am definitely precluding any arguments for setting easy expectations. Of course if u are one which is highly pacified, it just means that u've set a wrong comparison. To yourself its right, but for your own good it may not be that correct. We must always expect a persevering process in order to achieve our expectations, so do take this as a guide when u set expectations. In summary, it must be an expectation within reach, not out of reach or easily in reach!
There is yet another problem. Some people are just stubborn to alter their expectations. So why are many resistant to change? Because we were all along unchanged. We were all along in this unshaken comfort zone of ours, only expecting everything to be going on the way we want. We have been untouched, left undisturbed, and have developed immense inertia for change. We havent experience change, and cant really conceive change. That is why we are still deep rooted in our abyss of misery, allowing the uncontrolled roller coaster of emotions to manipulate our lives, which i think is quite a sad thing. I dont mean to insult people with sensations, nor the least critisize people who are slightly over sensitive, but i mean people who are displaying unnecessary sentiments and tendencies as a result of tainted expectations.
So what relevance has it lent to my life? I have fine tuned my perspectives of "outings", meaning just any kind of gathering, class outing etc. Have u experience outings whereby all activities are well planned, i.e. movie, then lunch, then followed by another activity, all so well organised? It's definitely fulfilling in this instance. But have u also turned out for an outing when all goes unprepared, i.e. we meet for movie or sth for instance, but in the end some disappointment ensue, so what follows is just hanging around, talking, sitting down for hours chatting. What would a person with flambuoyant expectations feel? How would he respond? If u are so unused to it, i bet u would feel horrible and terribly unaccomplished. But if u were composed enough to rein control of your emotions, take a step back, and question the purpose of outings, you would probably remind yourself that it isnt the materialistic comfort that underpins any great outing, spiritual fulfilment does depict the true value too. Of course this depends on the expectations and perspectives of your other mates involved in the gathering too, thats why i mentioned above that we should not only benchmark against ourselves.
I'm glad that i have friends who are just contented with having friends just like myself, enjoying what people may define as "shabby" outings in an ungrudging manner. U wont know it unless such outings occur, for what u have been used to are extravagant, or maybe at least a decently planned scheduled outing. This episode initiated a change in my expectations.
"It is when we contend with ridiculously simple engagement with a bunch of people where seeds of friendship are sown, and not in the eventful facade of indulgement"
If u can sit still with a friend for a few hours chatting and leave as happy as u once were, and dont mind doing so, that probably epitomises one of the many valuable aspects of friendship.
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