Finally, the topic is back to ME!

School's been a month for me. The thrill is back again. I like the challenge of academics, though it makes me very stressed and surfaces my perfectionism. It brings back memories of intense studying, and highly stimulating moments. Well, the only difference in lifestyle between now and the good old jc and sec sch days is the greater autonomy given to us. No one cares if u dont wanna study or attend lectures. Sometimes you dont even feel socially out of place when u miss lessons. totally free. and there u also have the liberacy to join whatever clubs or committees you like, with the limiting factor being time. You can do almost as much as u want to achieve. I love staying in hostel, dont ask me why. Maybe it feels abit lonely u think, but there are times i feel secure and comfortable camping there. Well, honestly i dont have any much more stuff to ramble on. Feel people see it anyway.. well i kinda like the phrase on eugene's blog, that whoever who knows me would not need to read what i write about myself, and those that dont will not care anyway. There are things held in private which i would not want to share here, so this might not be the real me you are perceiving.

Life's been great so far, made new friends, adapted to the academic lifestyle, back into the self-contained academic warzone. The battle has just begun, i'm stretched on many ends, including trading.

Shooting Blanks, Scoring Zeros

Radical Honesty,by Dr. Brad Blanton, posted a rude awakening to my life. It depicts an absolute truth of not witholding the darkest fears and secrets of your life experiences to anyone, and hence able to live in the present, and experience being. This is indeed unpalatable on first hearing, but yet embeds a powerful logic behind human functioning. Humans escape our darkest fears, we repress our emotions, live beneath a sheath constructed for ourselves so that we feel secure. Our minds loathe uncertainty, and lusts for predictability. In some sense, we over controlled our minds. We created a shield or coat so that we can live in the socially correct or self perceived acceptable way without feeling any discomfort or tension. Dr Blad Blanton, with his slightly indignant tone of writing at times when portraying the rationale to being honest, rightfully vindicates the unconventional nature of telling the truth. the truth hurts, but to live freely, you must have the courage to experience the pain first, or even more pain, before you grow.

It is a tough decision to make, and we often lack the spiritual and emotional muscle to take the first step. It is a daunting task to tear down our own beliefs and adopt a new model of behaviour. We often dont, and its hard to sustain even if we started, it takes full determination and cooperation from others to make it work. The pathetic situation about us living behind a self constructed mask is just like shooting blanks - you get the sound effect but you don't experience the real effect. It functions just so to obey the convoluted instinct inside you. Some of us are too resistant to change, because change carries a price. Some of us are satisfied with living like this, cause change is unimaginable. But yet honesty in life is so vital. Not just honesty, but as Dr Blad said, Radical Honesty. Honesty that is unconventional, raw, and unadulterated. Words that mean truth and the absolute feelings, uncovered, naive, but genuine. Only when an outlet for expression is available that we are able grow out of it, with our creative instincts and sharp mental awareness. We learn from the here and now, be it the moment of glory or the devastating reality.

Things got to start somewhere. It needs to germinate, and continue to grow. Well this book hit quite well with my understanding of psychotherapy. It makes an intriguing read for anyone!

Click here for its website :)