It seems as if my blog has lain dormant for an interminable period of time. I know no one is reading it, except my conscious awareness that someone may be reading it, or probably chanced upon it. I publicised it on my msn quite a long time ago, but sooner or later i took it off as it bore no meaning in doing so. It isn't a fan page or any public matter. It is just the humble insights into the private life of mine. The world of ruminations and deep thoughts circulating in the realm of my existence. So for these few months, 7 months to be exact, there was the inertia to blog, and partially the lack of time as well. I've got so many commitments for this semester.
But now i find the motivation to do so again, because i really hope to illuminate some of my thoughts. These thoughts have been residing in my head for quite long. As usual, some passing thoughts that i have dwelt upon.
Perspective Entrapment. What a bulky name i created to encapsulate the topic trapped in my poor little skull now. First, perspective. Perspectives are just different ways of viewing things in life. That is why we are all entitled to our own opinions. Different views by different people on the same matter. This is also the reason why surveys/questionnaires can yield substantial data. The way we think are different. And each way of thinking leads to inevitably dissimilar results. Good or bad, more often only evident to the individual concerned.
The take back i have often reminded myself is that one's perspective will change the attitude and way of treatment towards that particular subject matter. So, just like what Victor Frankl said in his interview, it is only the inflexibility of human minds to come out with a meaning for it that makes our current predicament the way it is. If we want to feel better, change your perspective. Start looking at things from a different angle. Start changing the way things can be viewed upon. Don't blame your narrow viewpoint. Don't think that things are always fixed. When they happen, they happen for a reason, find that particular viewpoint that will allow you to triumph and derive the maximum utility and satisfaction. Zoom in onto the essence of the matter. Obtain what is necessarily beneficial. Use it as a stepping stone.
Well, you may argue, i dont have a magic wand. It sounds very simple as u say.. tweak the perspective, change it to something which you can make sense of, something which is positive and allows you to have strength to carry on in life. Easier said than done. And exactly, this is topic which i am very interested to talk about in this post. Perspective Entrapment. How do you liberate yourself from any traps in perspectives?
I do not have the perfect answer, no antidote for you. But i have some opinions on these since it has been on my mind for a long period of time.
I suppose you will need to see clearly why you need the change, if the motivation is not compelling enough, you will continue to hold on to the undesirable perspective. Sometimes thinking about thinking is useful. Think of why you are thinking in this way. Our brain is like a maze. You have many routes to one common destination. Of the many routes, each of them will boast a different experience. Start to perceive yourself taking a particular route, which is your current perspective, and re-ponder about how this perspective have led you to how you feel about things, and the situation you are in. Relive this experience again. Do you like it?
Well of course since it is a maze, there are other possible routes. They are unexplored, but feasible. You would not know exactly where to turn next, what is the exact mapping to the right destination. But you need a change, and hence you are willing to venture to other paths, despite the fact that you would have to re-navigate to the final endpoint again. In this endeavour, the initial inertia has to be overcome, and you have to believe that this new trying is worthwhile.
If you cannot convince yourself to adopt a new viewpoint, or i.e. change a route, then dont force yourself to a new viewpoint. Stick to your current perspective. Try to repeat the first step of rehearsing your perspective again. We have to recognise that there is a choice in the way we think, because thinking is not like any device or object that can be replaced or altered by physical, chemical or mechanical changes. Its not like changing the tyres of a car to make it more road-worthy. Neither can the doctor surgically alter your thinking by operating on you. You have the full capability to change your viewpoint anytime. You are in charge.
The exact reason why you are in charge empowers you to hold yourself at ransom in life. You can limit yourself to unbelievably narrow and absurd perspectives that do more harm than good. So you need to first have a resolution to alter your viewpoint.
Well, the process of changing perspective is fraught with uncertainty, and lack of confidence. Self-esteem might get into the way for some cases. Our ego, as they say. The environment may sometimes prove too challenging to alter our perspectives. At times, the thought of changing might already erode the possibility of taking the first step. Well, this will not be an easy task. But nevertheless, it is a choice that will potentially extricate you out of a mental trap. A trap that minimises your life to haplessness.
It is never easy, for even I myself have been not able to overcome the first hurdle everytime. But I am trying to improve. To the others who may face the same dilemma as me, what do you think about this?
October 18, 2009
March 14, 2009
Drenched
As the rain pour down the streets, your comfortable dry attire gets wet and soaked after a few seconds. That's the unpleasant feeling of being drenched, literally. Again, in this unique entry of mine, i like to explore other meanings of this word.
Drenched can imply being in a battered state, an emotional state where you feel despondent or highly negative. (well this is adapted from those dramas where you see the male or female plunges into despair in the pouring rain, unsheltered)
Well sometimes getting drenched can be devastating, especially when the outcome drastically deviates from one's expectations. It ushers in the shattering reality, which quickly and mercilessly sucks out the euphoria and/or nonchalance in one, allowing an emotional free fall. Different people experienced drenched states in different proportions, some more frequent than the others. It all depends on one's expectations as well as the coping ability of one's psyche.
Drenched, in my definition, has to encompass an event or circumstance which leads to the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is different from being overwhelmed by a heavy workload or schedule per se. Neither can it be gradual. It is necessarily swift and all-consuming. For e.g. the moment u saw an F grade for a module.
What leads me to ponder further is the prevention of such drenched states. Mental preparation certainly help to cushion the impact of drenching. But its effects are short term. Once reality sets in permanently, the more dreadful phenomenon plagues us - depression. We are left reeling in the after shock, to savour the bitterness of what is truly tormenting us. Maybe the more crucial question is then to ask how to deal with such states. When you plunge into a miserable abyss, how do you pull yourself out again?
There are invariably 2 ways. One which depends on an external factor, and the other an internal one - our own thoughts. Without dwelling much into the details of what exactly is external or internal, lets take an overview of the 2 ways. It leaves little dispute that an internally motivated recovery would see sustainable results as compared to an external remedy. Internal recovery usually takes a longer time than external ones, and therefore, depending on the exigencies of the situation, different resolutions are often seen employed. The passage of time allows for greater damage to be dealt, while certainly also introduces the risk of little or no recovery. The ability of one to self heal, though from a nature perspective is true, cannot be totally applied when human states are concerned. Hence the alternative of external help does help to catalyse the recuperative process.
I fancy the idea of internal healing, something which advocates an independent approach. Everything in this world obeys the law of conservation and equilibrium. Healing is a reversion to equilibrium. Internal healing is therefore a self-sufficient effort in returning back to the steady state. Just my personal bias, but definitely i do agree with having an external aid as long as the rewards of internal recovery are not undermined. I believe that the idea of a self effort is a process of growth. We learn when we climb back up on our own. We acknowledge our mistakes and make significant gains in the recovery process. Accelerating this process might hamper this educational experience. To trade off our time for this education might afterall be worthwhile as long as we adopt the right attitude.
Now,after saying so much, getting drenched just equals to an opportunity to learn from yourself directly. We are our own teachers. In fact, the best guiding mentors are always in us, except that we have often disregarded it.
As they always say, look within.
Drenched can imply being in a battered state, an emotional state where you feel despondent or highly negative. (well this is adapted from those dramas where you see the male or female plunges into despair in the pouring rain, unsheltered)
Well sometimes getting drenched can be devastating, especially when the outcome drastically deviates from one's expectations. It ushers in the shattering reality, which quickly and mercilessly sucks out the euphoria and/or nonchalance in one, allowing an emotional free fall. Different people experienced drenched states in different proportions, some more frequent than the others. It all depends on one's expectations as well as the coping ability of one's psyche.
Drenched, in my definition, has to encompass an event or circumstance which leads to the feeling of being overwhelmed. It is different from being overwhelmed by a heavy workload or schedule per se. Neither can it be gradual. It is necessarily swift and all-consuming. For e.g. the moment u saw an F grade for a module.
What leads me to ponder further is the prevention of such drenched states. Mental preparation certainly help to cushion the impact of drenching. But its effects are short term. Once reality sets in permanently, the more dreadful phenomenon plagues us - depression. We are left reeling in the after shock, to savour the bitterness of what is truly tormenting us. Maybe the more crucial question is then to ask how to deal with such states. When you plunge into a miserable abyss, how do you pull yourself out again?
There are invariably 2 ways. One which depends on an external factor, and the other an internal one - our own thoughts. Without dwelling much into the details of what exactly is external or internal, lets take an overview of the 2 ways. It leaves little dispute that an internally motivated recovery would see sustainable results as compared to an external remedy. Internal recovery usually takes a longer time than external ones, and therefore, depending on the exigencies of the situation, different resolutions are often seen employed. The passage of time allows for greater damage to be dealt, while certainly also introduces the risk of little or no recovery. The ability of one to self heal, though from a nature perspective is true, cannot be totally applied when human states are concerned. Hence the alternative of external help does help to catalyse the recuperative process.
I fancy the idea of internal healing, something which advocates an independent approach. Everything in this world obeys the law of conservation and equilibrium. Healing is a reversion to equilibrium. Internal healing is therefore a self-sufficient effort in returning back to the steady state. Just my personal bias, but definitely i do agree with having an external aid as long as the rewards of internal recovery are not undermined. I believe that the idea of a self effort is a process of growth. We learn when we climb back up on our own. We acknowledge our mistakes and make significant gains in the recovery process. Accelerating this process might hamper this educational experience. To trade off our time for this education might afterall be worthwhile as long as we adopt the right attitude.
Now,after saying so much, getting drenched just equals to an opportunity to learn from yourself directly. We are our own teachers. In fact, the best guiding mentors are always in us, except that we have often disregarded it.
As they always say, look within.
January 17, 2009
Time and Choice
Everyone will always have competing needs for his or her time. However, whatever lies in the minds or desires of one expands in front of him or her. That is why people have priorities, or set priorities to focus.
Alongside priorities would be disappointment. When you choose, you make decisions. When you make decisions, you select one or a few, and neglect the rest. When you reward, you are also punishing the rest. Basically when you focus on something, the other tasks, people and processes will be left out. Are you held accountable for those u unintentionally leave out? Is it even unintentional in the first place since you catered to you own preference and needs?
Individualism or collectivism? well, the reason that both are ends of a spectrum speaks volumes of itself being a continuum. So, in a somewhat similar fashion, with regards to the answer to questions in the above para, whether you are accountable or not, its not important. The crux of the issue is the extent! Are you overly individualistic, or too self sacrificing?
This question will depend on the social context, as well as individuals character and personality. There is no right or wrong, for ultimately, it's a choice.
And if you had paid attention, making a choice necessarily means neglecting the rest.
Am i uttering rubbish?
Your choice :)
What a way to kick start the year, lol!
Alongside priorities would be disappointment. When you choose, you make decisions. When you make decisions, you select one or a few, and neglect the rest. When you reward, you are also punishing the rest. Basically when you focus on something, the other tasks, people and processes will be left out. Are you held accountable for those u unintentionally leave out? Is it even unintentional in the first place since you catered to you own preference and needs?
Individualism or collectivism? well, the reason that both are ends of a spectrum speaks volumes of itself being a continuum. So, in a somewhat similar fashion, with regards to the answer to questions in the above para, whether you are accountable or not, its not important. The crux of the issue is the extent! Are you overly individualistic, or too self sacrificing?
This question will depend on the social context, as well as individuals character and personality. There is no right or wrong, for ultimately, it's a choice.
And if you had paid attention, making a choice necessarily means neglecting the rest.
Am i uttering rubbish?
Your choice :)
What a way to kick start the year, lol!
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